Stay | Arctic Monkeys Fanfiction

Eleven- I'm A Puppet On A String

2003

The moment I saw the two of them from across the room, I felt like my entire world had stopped.

I was in some sketchy venue in Rotherham that I'd never been before, having to take a taxi by myself just to get there. All to see Alex and the lads play at their first venue that wasn't the Hellcat.

I'd gotten there early, just as the crowd was beginning to arrive, in hopes of finding Alex beforehand.

And I'd found him... holding another girl in his arms.

She was skinny, she was tall, she was beautiful. She was everything that I wasn't. And suddenly my "nice" outfit I'd put on for the occasion didn't feel so nice anymore. I wanted to yank the bloody pins out of my hair because I'd done it for him, all of it, but he couldn't focus on anything besides her.

And then they kissed and all I wanted to do was yell, "I taught him how to do that".

But I didn't.

I just stood there breathlessly until he finally saw me. He said something to the girl and then came jogging over to me.

"Dav," he smiled.

And that was all it took. I couldn't be mad or miserable. Al was my best mate, and he was the happiest he'd ever been lately, with the Monkey's getting a little following and all. And it was impossible for me not to be happy for him.

"How does seventeen feel?" he asked.

"You'll find out in a few days," I told him.

My birthday had been the day before, and we always had a running joke about our age because his birthday was only four days after mine.

"Are we still down to celebrate at the Hellcat on Friday?" he asked. "It wouldn't be the same if we don't have our annual joint birthday party."

"Of course," I said. As if he even needed to ask.

"Oi!" Matt called to us from near the stage, causing both of us to turn and look. "Lets go, mate!"

Alex looked back to me. "That's my cue."

"Don't fuck up," I told him. "The entire future of your music career depends on this very moment."

He punched me in the arm. "Fuck off, idiot."

"I would if I hadn't had to sit in a taxi that smelled like salami for fifteen minutes to find this place."

He grinned. "Well your attendance is much appreciated, Ms. Davenport."

"It better be."

He took off jogging toward the stage then, shooting me a smile over his shoulder. He kissed the girl he'd been with earlier on the lips sloppily right before taking the stage. She looked up at him, with these starry eyes, and I wondered if I looked that pathetically love sick.

I probably looked worse, honestly. Because I loved Alex, in more ways than just one. But I couldn't tell him.

I couldn't tell him because I knew exactly what he'd say.

"I love you too, Dav. But not in that way."

And so I had to suffer in silence, my heart unconditionally happy for him and all of the great things that were happening in his life, but breaking for myself.

After that moment, I was convinced that nothing anybody would ever do to me would kill me just as much as the instant I first saw Alex kiss another girl. No boy could ever break my heart after that.

Alex was the only person that could ever break my heart, because he's the only one who's ever had it.