Stay | Arctic Monkeys Fanfiction

Forty- I Can't Hold Down the Urgency

I wanted the week to be over fast.  I wanted the wedding to just come and go so that I could forget about it all.  

But of course, that didn't happen.

Each day rolled slowly into the next.  I had a routine going.  Sleep until noon, sulk until six, then drink at the Hellcat for whatever remained of the day.  

I was trying to forget.   But all it was doing was making me remember.

When I woke up Friday morning, my stomach was in knots and I wanted to throw up.  It could have been the hangover making me sick, but I knew very well it wasn't.

Alex was getting married tomorrow.

And there was nothing I could do to stop it.

I didn't even get out of bed until afternoon.  I skipped my usual sulk and went straight to the Hellcat.  The sooner I started drinking, the sooner the pain would be gone.

I pulled on jeans and a sweater and headed out.  The air was humid, but I was cold.  Lue was working, but he'd learned the last few days that I wasn't in the mood to talk.  He gave me a Dandelion and Burdock and left me to myself.

I don't know how long I was sitting there.  Hours, surely.  The sun disappeared and more people started filtering into the bar.  I didn't care enough to turn around and look, though.  That's probably why I didn't notice Matt was there until he was sitting right beside me.

"What in the actual fuck are you doing here?" he asked me, bewildered.  "And why do you look like you got hit by a bus?"

"Hey, Matt."

"Davenport," he said, his tone going serious.  "You should be in France right now."

"So should you."

"Well it's kind of hard to go to a wedding you didn't get invited to," he said.

"Wait, what?  I thought you guys were flying out there today?"

Matt ordered a beer and cracked it open.  "Yeah, we did too.  But here we are the day before the wedding and no plane tickets.  And conveniently, both Alex and Estella's phones are shut off."

"Are you serious?"

He took a drink.  "Yep."

I narrowed my eyes.  "Estella."

"She the reason you're not there?" Matt asked.

"Kind of," I said.

He looked at me for a long time.  "Something happened."

"Obviously."

"Are you going to talk about it?"

I took a deep breath.  "There's nothing to say.  Alex is marrying Estella, and I realized that I just couldn't watch him go through with it.  So I came back."

"Because you hate who he's marrying."

"Partly."

The corner of his mouth lifted slightly.  "And because you're in love with him and have been since we were kids."

I took a drink, deciding not to answer.

"He used to be in love with you too, you know that right?"

I stared at him.  "What do you mean?"

He laughed.  "It was obvious, especially after we moved to London.  He told me about the fight you two had the night before he moved.  The one on the roof.  He was gutted, Davenport.  He thought you didn't care."