While We're Young (Marianas Trench)

Chapter 11

It's been a non stop trade off between Libbey and I to look after Josh. When we switch, one gets to sleep and the other watches Josh for any signs of medical relapse. It's my turn to sleep when I'm awoken by giggling. I sit up in Josh's bed, confused. I think it's coming from the kitchen, so I shuffle out of bed and peak around the door frame, hidden from view.

"Pomegranate!" Libbey says in a silly voice. She is doubled over in laughter, sitting at the dining room table. Josh is standing by the fridge a few feet away chuckling, holding two halves of pomegranate, one in each hand.

"Do you want some, though?" He asks, holding up one half of the pomegranate. Libbey tilts her head to the side in curiosity. She stands up and walks over to Josh, inspecting the fruit, all the while stealing glances at him out of the corner of her eye.

"I've never tried it before." She looks up at him, twirling a piece of her hair. I know Libbey better than she knows herself, so I know that she's doing this flirtatiously. What the hell does she think she's doing? She knows that Josh and I are happily dating. She knows how much I like him. Why would she flirt with him?

"Here, try a piece," Josh picks a seed out of the pomegranate and drops it in her hand. She pops it in her mouth and nods.

"That's good!" She exclaims, taking another piece. Josh laughs, handing her the pomegranate half and opening the fridge. He puts the other half back in and searches for something else. "What are you looking for?" Libbey asks, peaking over Josh's arm and resting her chin in his elbow.

I think I've seen enough of this bull shit. "You're supposed to be my best friend!" I yell, walking into the kitchen. Libbey jumps away from Josh and he closes the fridge.

"Alexis, it's not—" Libbey starts to say, but I know it is, and it's not okay.

"Don't even fucking say 'it's not what it looks like'! I know what you look like when you're flirting. I've known you for years and I've been watching you for the last five minutes. Stop coming on to my boyfriend!" Libbey looks like she's about to cry, but I don't feel sorry for her. Why should I?

"You were flirting with me?" Josh looks stunned. It's obvious that he didn't know, probably because he assumed that Libbey wouldn't dare. Just like I thought . . .

Libbey nods and turns around. "I should go." She whispers, walking slowly towards the door.

"You're right, you should. And don't come back until you know your place." I snarl at her. She runs to the door and slams it as she leaves.

"Was that completely necessary?" Josh asks, crossing his arms. I raise my eyebrows at him, my mouth falling open.

"Are you serious? She was flirting with you! What would you do if Matt started flirting with me?" I must make a good point because he drops his arms.

"I had no idea it was happening, if that helps." He sighs, sitting on the counter. 

"It's not your fault, it's Libbey's. I thought she was my friend, but friends don't try to steal your boyfriend." Josh hugs me to his chest awkwardly and strokes my hair.

"Don't worry about her, there's no competition. She already thinks she knows me, and you can't teach an old dog new tricks. You, on the other hand, know nothing that I haven't told you first hand. I love that we can learn about each other every day. It's impossible to get bored because there's so much to talk about." I smile up at him. Somehow he always knows exactly what to say.

*****

"Am I still under house arrest, or can we go see the fireworks on Saturday?" Josh asks. It's been almost a week since he was released from the hospital. He's still slightly pale, but no one would be able to tell that he was sick if they didn't know. At least, that's what I'm telling myself.

"I think you should be alright, just be careful. You're still tender," I smile, touching his left side gently. He flinches slightly but relaxes easily after a second. "Just take it easy, okay?"

"Don't I always?" Josh smirks, kissing my forehead. I bite my lip and place a hand on the side of his face. Warmth radiates from his cheek through my hand and it comforts me. I close my eyes and drink in this moment. It's still and peaceful, like the sky before a storm. "Lex?"

"Mmh?" I mumble in response, my eyes still closed.

"You are precious," he chuckles, putting his hand over top of my own. He brings it down off his cheek and kisses my palm. My eyes flutter open and I smile up at him. They often say that nothing can go wrong in these moments, that one feels invincible. I have believed that until this exact moment. "I—"

Before he can say his next thought, his phone starts ringing.  "I'm sorry, it's probably important." He sighs, pulling out his phone. His eyes widen at the number on the screen and he answers. "Sara, what's wrong?" after a few minutes of his sister talking Josh falls to his knees. Tears rain from his eyes and he hangs up the phone, throwing it across the room.

"Hey, what happened?" I kneel in front of him, stroking his hair. How can a moment leave a taste in your mouth? If I had to describe it, it would be bitter, sour, unbearable.

"My mom," Josh cries. His breath comes out in bursts, he can barely speak. "My mom just," he can't finish his sentence, and I won't make him. I never got the chance to meet his mother, but she seemed like a wonderful lady. Tears start to fall down my own face and I pull Josh into a hug.

"We will get through this." I whisper into his ear. We sit and cry for what feels like hours until the door buzzer sounds. I stand up and look at the small television. There's a woman standing in the lobby that looks like a walking wreckage. It must be Sara. I let her in without saying a word, I've never met here and I don't think Josh has even mentioned me yet.

She barges through the door to Josh's apartment and is about to comfort him when she sees me. "Who are you?" She asks, confirming my suspicions.

"I'm Alexis, Josh's girlfriend." She looks from me to Josh and back at me. "I'm sorry to hear about your mom . . ." I trail off, not really sure what else to say. I wish I knew more about her.

"It was a long battle, and we all knew it was coming. I just didn't think it would come so fast," tears start to pool in her eyes and she falls to the floor beside Josh. The two of them cry in each other's arms, gasping for air. I feel awkwardly left out, not knowing if they would appreciate me joining in.

"I—"

"Lex, I'm sorry, but I think you should go. I'll call you later when things calm down, okay?" I don't want to leave him. I know he doesn't really want me to leave . . . Or does he? He thinks I'd rather not be here, and in a way he's right. But I am here, and there's no way to go back on my word.

"I said we'd get through this, and I meant it." I stand my ground, but Josh looks up at me with pleading eyes.

"Go home, Alexis. Just go home, I don't want you here," the words strike me. Hard. He doesn't want me here. How could I be so stupid? Obviously he'd rather be with his sister right now, and he probably doesn't ever want to see me again. He got the news looking at my face, I'll remind him every time he looks at me.

Tears roll down my cheeks as I turn around somberly and walk right out of his apartment. I walk out the front door and into the parking lot. I get into my car and drive. I drive until I'm completely lost. Then I park in a corn field and cry until I have no more tears left.