Ordinary

Before The Beginning

This might be hard to believe but I am no regular teen, I am... Extra-ordinary. Yet, I do not mind, I have grown comfortable with being my boring, meaningless self and no, I'm not suicidal and I'm not insecure, I've just realized how no-one really matters, or to put it nicely no-one is really that special, and as for me, I wouldn't force myself to be something I'm not, and that being special.

Today has been another average day, I would rate it 4/10 as the cafeteria food was just as disgusting as the stuff I feed my cat. I might give it a 4.5/10 as I did have a conversation with one of my close friends although it was on the phone and only for 5 minutes, I, on the other hand, believe that it just might be enough human interaction for one day. We talked about how her new life was at her new school, new town and well, as I mentioned, new life. She told me that it was all fine and that I shouldn't worry about her, but what she didn't understand was that I was never worried mostly because, Lola is approachable and actually quite social although, she was always with me when she was back here, in this town. This is quite surprising as she could of almost been friends with whoever she wanted, I felt honored and yet guilty that I kept her away from everyone else.

Me, unlike Lola, am actually quite depressing, as my mum says, it is not as though I want to be, Im just a pessismist naturally and I can't do anything about it. I have dirt blonde hair and freckles, only surrounding my nose and not escaping onto my cheeks like freckles usually do. My eyes are probably the one thing that I like most about myself, not to be narcissistic but I love the light blue colour and the way my lashes naturally curl upwards without the extra effort of curling them or using mascara. My mother also loves my eyes but it also saddens her, as it reminds her of my father, her ex- husband.

Lola and me have had a phone call at least twice every week ever since she moved away, but lately our calls have gotten shorter, probably because we've run out of things to say, I sense we've been thinking that the other may not be as fascinated since we are no longer part of each others daily lives.

Now, with all this predicting I've been doing lately, I've lost track on my courses and other school projects. I don't think my teachers will mind if I hand in anything late, as I am most of my teachers favorites, probably because I go to public school and yet, achieving the grades of a private school student. If I share a secret now, please don't tell? Who am I kidding, I wouldn't be good enough to be shared and sold around the world, would I?

No, I don't have a story to tell. Anyways, my secret is that our family can afford private school, I just chose to go public because I thought it would make my life more fascinating, but all it has done is surround me with idiots.

I understand that nothing has happened to my life, but no-one really seems to be living that over- exaggerated teenage dream and that is also quite depressing. So, its not just me.

Whenever I'll look back on today I will remember coming home and not being greeted by mother and not eating dinner as a family and to be honest, not sharing a single word to one another. I will have wished to make an effort with talking to her but then I will remember that my mother would of approached me if she wanted a share of words.

It is never just me.

I have made my life out to be so boring, but... Well, actually it is boring and that's just how it is.

******

I don't know what's coming next but it'll come and until then, I will live.
I'll write more here tomorrow.

-Veronica Jones