The Unchronicled Adventures Of Ahsoka Tano, Book Ten

Chapter Eighty-Three: When I Heard The News

AHSOKA TANO

"How did you get this code?"

Saw's voice was biting, at the same time paranoid and hostile, but Ahsoka did not react. She had had her moment of weakness in the hall an hour or two before; now, only her cold, perfectly composed outer façade remained. "I have Jani's personal communicator. Your number was logged as the last call."

"But it's password protected, programmed to unlock only in the event of her..." Suddenly, the anger faded from Saw's eyes, and Ahsoka realized he already knew exactly what she had called to tell him.

"I'm sorry," she murmured.

Saw nodded, his face closed and dark but oddly calm. Even the usual almost wildness in his eyes had died down part-way, but she sensed there was a thundering storm of emotions raging just beyond the tempered exterior.

Never push Saw when he's grieving, came Jani's voice suddenly from the depths of her mind, from a time when a Rebel conference on Onderon a few years before had coincided with the anniversary of Steela's death. Because when he's grieving, he shuts himself away. He looks fine on the outside – or at least as fine as he usually is –, but beneath the surface he's reliving it over and over again, every memory hitting him like a dozen blaster bolts. Getting caught in the crossfire could be deadly.

"How did it happen?" he asked, and the ghosts of the past that were starting to take hold of Ahsoka again faded away.

"It was a few days ago," she told him. "There were Inquisitors after the kids. Lux brought them to Onderon before he left for a business trip without me knowing, and his father took them to the Nest to hide. Jani came with me to help find them, and..." Ahsoka sighed. "I wasn't watching. She tried to take one of them on alone – I heard her say it was the one who attacked you in the tunnels a few months back – and she had to sacrifice herself to win."

Saw nodded, but deep in his eyes she could see the weariness of someone who has seen too many people die. "Then she had avenged me. Her forebearers will welcome her when she completes her journey to them across the funeral plains."

They were both silent for a long moment, each reflecting on what he had said in their own different ways. But it wasn't long before he opened his mouth to ask her another question: "Did she... Did she speak of me in her final moments?"

Ahsoka didn't say anything, but her silence was all the answer Saw needed.

"I expected that," he said as he crossed his arms, his voice level. "Her greatest love was for you, her family."

"You were her family too, Saw. Her bond with you was as strong as hers with Lux or me. She might not have said it, but a few days before she died..." Ahsoka took a deep breath in, willing her trembling bottom lip into stillness. "She told me she loves you. I thought you should know, in case you didn't already."

It was only then that Saw's façade seemed to crack, showing a hint of what was hiding behind it. But he hid it well, and changed the subject. "I'll be there for the funeral. I need to be there to honor her memory."

"Will you be staying?"

It was a question with two different layers of meaning, but Saw was sharp enough to understand them both. "No. My place is no longer on Onderon," he said. "Especially now that she's gone; her and Steela..." He shook his head. "Too many memories."

"Are you sure? Because now that the Onderon unit is definitely without a leader, we could definitely use your expertise. It's not too late to–"

"I'm needed elsewhere."

His tone of voice was final, and Ahsoka was too tired, too emotionally drained to push him. "Then I'll see you in two days for the funeral."

Saw inclined his head. "Gerrera out."