The Unchronicled Adventures Of Ahsoka Tano, Book Ten

Chapter Eighty-Four: Final Farewell

LUX BONTERI

It was a beautiful day on Onderon – the blue-green sky, slightly deeper in color due to their proximity to the Inland Sea, was clear, and a cool breeze carried with it the sounds of birdsong and the wind in the trees.

But Lux didn't see it. He only had eyes for the simple white marble marker that would soon be fitted over a new tomb in the family mausoleum, which read:

Janira Ashlaine Bonteri-Dume – aunt, sister, daughter, friend.

May she rest here with the love of those who have yet to follow her,

knowing the souls of those she fought for have been avenged.

He had read that inscription over and over again, only too aware of the way it pulled at his heartstrings. Maybe, if he concentrated hard enough, he would be able to make the name change to one he didn't know, the description change to something he hadn't written late a few nights before, his tears staining the page.

He was stuck in limbo between feeling nothing and feeling everything at once, but he was too drained to break free. If he were to describe it, it would be as a one in the upper atmosphere, looking down on a cloud of numbness casting dark shadows over a rolling sea of emotions.

His sister... his kind, brilliant, crazy sister... she was gone. Now, Lux was a brother without a sister, a twin without a twin.

Lux turned around again as the Force began to whisper to him, and suddenly found himself face to face with Saw Gerrera. He opened his mouth to say something, but the words weren't coming to him. The same seemed to be true for Saw, and they stood in silence for a long time.

"It's ironic," Lux said finally as an idea began to take shape in his mind. "The thing that's always drawn us together is our sisters. I fell for yours, and when she died, our shared grief pulled us a little closer. We became better friends. You fell for mine, and when she died, the same thing happened."

"I wouldn't be so sure of that."

The ghost of a wry smile flitted across Lux's face. "You're here now, aren't you? And what's to say you would ever have come home if not for this?"

Saw looked for a moment as though he wanted to protest, but finally, he nodded. "I guess so."

"Did you ever blame me?" Lux asked before he could stop himself.

"For what?"

"For Steela."

"Do you want me to blame you?" Lux said nothing, and Saw nodded to himself. "So you do – probably because you need to blame someone, too. You blame me for leaving, you blame her for being so reckless, you blame herself for not being there. But sometimes no one can be there. You have to learn to live with that. There's always someone to blame. The real strength lies in knowing that it's no one's fault."

"You're one to talk."

"Am I?" Saw laughed harshly. "I know a thing or two about blame. I owe Jani a debt I'll never be able to repay – I live because she lived. My heart, as damaged as it may be, beats because hers once did."

Lux frowned. "What do you mean?"

"She dug me out of that tunnel. She pulled me from the wreckage. And when she found out how much blood I'd lost and how likely it was I would die, she told the medics we were the same blood type, offered up her arm and screamed at them until they took enough to keep me alive."