The Smile

Chapter 13

I wake up and I have this weird feeling ... it's noon and I'm so hungry , I Wash my face,put on clothes ,take the money and get out of the house .I have some missed calls and some texts to read but all I want to do right now  is hug my music and just walk . I don't like practicing sports but i love walking and looking at people, I'm someone who enjoys living and loves  life and all her  people and no one will ever take that from me . Even if it's hard to be happy right now but I'm a fighter and a warrior and I will get through this . Let's face it I knew he didn't love me but I loved him so bad still do . While i walk by my neighborhood  all the memories hit me the café that we sat in,the little parc over there ...our first real date ... but whatever ill just get me some food and life will be better within a minute . I go to stars and I buy a pizza and fries and a soda . I wait for the waiter to bring me my order in my usual spot next to the window . I take my phone and the classmates are talking on that whatsapp group , Her too,by now you should know that I'm talking about Steph . We never really talked in private on WhatsApp I guess  I should  just take a chance and  talk to her  and all i came up with was a " Hey"
Her : Hi there
Me : how are u ?
Her : fine you
Me : same here
Her : :)
You know in my world that smiley means its the end of this conversation, it sends" dude fuck off I have no interest in talking t u just leave ...stop existing" .
I know I over think everything even a little smiley . Since  I wanted to not care that way about  it I replyed again
Me : I was thinking about maybe having a party at my house since mom isn't going to be around so I was wondering if  you wanted to come ?
Her : that's nice of you to invite me but I'm not really much of a party girl the other night I was there to make someone happy ...hum an old friend of mine
Me : yeah i understand lol I probably won't throw it anyway
Her : yeah.. and how are your holidays going ?
Me : eating sleeping that's all i do during holidays
Her : it makes sense
Me : yeah lol
I didn't really understood what made sense but i answered her then the  conversation stopped there .
And my food is here i start eating then my friend calls me I pick up the phone
" hey Tay I heard you are having a party " she said
' wait what ? What are you talking about ? " I said while i  choked and put the   the pizza back to the plate
" Yeah Kylie told us you are throwing a party " the girl tells me and I dont know what to say now
" sorry i gotta hung up now I'll call you later " I hung up and call Kylie immediately
" what the fuck girl ? Did you tell people that I was throwing a party ? I never said that "
" I thought you said yeah " she says with hesitation in her tone
" listen Kylie call them and tell them that this shit is cancelled or i swear you won't like what will happen " I cry  on the phone and hang up
I know I was a little bit hard on her but I'm the one who will be in trouble not her "party she said  what's fucking wrong with these people ? "Calm down please Taylor " I tell my self maybe it is a good idea right ? To have fun and forget a bit . I call Kylie " Dude did u call people ? " whyyyy? " she asks all exited " I'm in but wait to see if mom is fine with it " I say " okey call me back asap to let me know the final decision " she says this girl is so exited really more than me . I call my mom and my hands are shaking  and my voice wil be too I'm sure of that . when she answers I feel like I'm fucking up already : 

-" Hey mom " my voice was shaking just like I was assuming that it would do but then I had the courage to ask her ,and I went for it with no hesitation 

" Mom I want to throw a party at the appartment , what do you think about this ? " I said without stopping , and then a silence got  insorted on the line 

"Hello ?? Are you still here ? " I asked her 

" Yes Taylor I'm here and yes I think that's a good idea but I don't know ...we need to talk about it and about everything that goes with it ..I'm not exactly in a position to talk right now I'm a little bit busy I gotta go now but we will talk about it later " she said all this and hung up . I call back Kylie