Little Wonder (Phan)

Forty-Nine.

She was begging, clasping her hands together, jutting out her bottom lip. Pulling out all the stops here. "Troye wasn't able to make it, and it's very important that all the seats are filled, I'm not asking you to out yourselves, you don't have to, that's not what this panel is about. But I think it's important for any YouTuber, any person, to talk about the issues that arise in the LGBTQ community, and how we can avoid and resolve them." Grabbing onto Phil's arm, she gave it a small tug. "Please, I at least need /one/ of you out there, no one else will go." Her eyes looked up at us with hope and panic, I finally agreed. I would be the one to go out there, Phil wasn't the best at keeping secrets, most of the time. Especially when he was in front of a large crowd like the one that was currently behind that curtain. She looked surprised that I'd been the one to volunteer, but she didn't hesitate to grab my arm, and pull me out onto the panel.

"Filling in for Mr Sivan, is Mr Howell himself!" Loud cheers, applause, and sounds of shock arose from the crowd below me. Giving a nervous smile, I waved at them. This was going to be everywhere online. Claiming to be heterosexual Dan Howell, speaking at an LGBTQ panel, I would never be able to live this down. But maybe, maybe this would help me build up my own confidence to actually come out. One day. Being seated beside Tyler and Connor, I gave a very nervous smile, what was I even going to say? What could I even contribute to all of this? But I knew I couldn't back out now. Looking to the side quickly, I saw Phil looking at me with a grin, giving me a thumbs up. Winnie latched to his hip, mimicking his action. I could do this, if they believed in me, then I could believe in myself. I was strong enough to get through this. I was.

The questions started coming in, most of them directed towards Tyler, or even Hannah, but I knew that my time was going to come eventually. Someone was going to the guts to question why I was up here. When I'd very much made it clear that I wasn't going to ever have anything to do with -- things like this. Well, they already knew I rarely told the truth, what was one lie more? "Is there something you want to tell us, Dan?" There it was. She was an adult, or at least I hoped she was, she looked far too mature to be a child, genetics were seriously messed up. I looked down at her with a questioning gaze, raising a brow, as if though asking for her to ask again. Acting like I hadn't heard her question. "Dan Howell." Chewing on my lip, I just froze.

Hannah took the stage, she jumped up and exclaimed that the questions were done, and the panel was over. She'd shortened it for me, bless her heart. Pushing me backstage, she started to apologise over and over again. "It was a terrible idea! I never thought someone would -- oh, Dan, I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to make you feel so uncomfortable!" But it was strange, it hadn't really made me uncomfortable, I just hadn't known how to word my thoughts. It was almost like I was ready. As if though today were the day. "How about I buy you guys a drink, hmm? Tyler said he's up for watching Winnie for tonight." She booped Winnie's nose, earning her a genuine giggle. "Come on, let's go. You both need a drink after that, don't ya?"

Yeah. I think I did need a drink.

~

* Phil's POV *

"Dan?" I hadn't meant to lose him, especially not here. He didn't even know where we were, I had brought him along before he could even argue or try to talk himself out of it. "Dan!" My sense of panic began to set in, he was still a kid, basically, I really didn't want him to get drunk and then taken advantage of. That is not why I brought him here. I just wanted him to have a fun time, to try and get out, to meet new people. He needed more friends. So you can imagine my relief when he practically fell into my chest, drunk off his ass. He was only 18, his body was not prepared to take in so much alcohol. "Dan! I've been looking for you --"

But he brought a finger up to my lips, silencing me. Something didn't feel right, especially when he pressed himself up against me. "I've been looking for you as well, Philly. And I've been waiting to do this since we first met." He stood up on his tiptoes and pressed his lips against mine, it was sloppy, he'd almost missed, but he didn't let me back out of it. "How about you and me -- uh, break the bed?" He was tracing my jawline teasingly, licking his lips, his eyes glazed with lust. And they were focused on me. "Come on, Philly. I'm impatient, you know that. So if you want to do this, tell me right now, or walk away." But I think we both knew I wouldn't. He looked up at me with a knowing smirk, his hand hovering over my chest, and ghosting my pants.

Something bad was about to happen.

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Crappy ending, enjoy. I'll try and do something for chapter 50.