The Adventures of Jase and Jay ♫ Jastin ♫

Scared.

(Continued from The One.)
Several months later
Justin's Pov

Waking up like any other day, I stared at the ceiling thinking about everything. I felt him stir beside me as I looked in his direction. His beautiful brown curls falling aimlessly around his face. He was always so peaceful when he slept, all you could hear was his quiet breathing. I reached over to caress his cheek, smooth as always. His skin was that of a porcelain doll, so perfect and flawless to the touch. Why couldn't I bring myself to end this disastrous relationship. It wasn't good for the both of us.

After several months I still couldn't bring myself to get him out of my head and it's not fair at all for James. I can't hurt him. He deserves better than me. A boy looking to forget his past and only seeking comfort in him to only diminish the feeling of being so alone inside. How long would he be able to keep this up

I felt like I was living a lie. I met James a couple weeks after my whole world came crashing down on me. He was such a sweet, genuine guy with only the best intentions, and I couldn't bear to hurt him. It's just I don't love him the way I still love Jason. Am I crazy? I'm thinking about a man who walked out on me....for someone else. I'm hurting this kind person next to me by keeping this from him. I'm no better than Jason.

I've decided what I'm going to do, sadly I know it won't end good.

I played around with his curls smiling fondly at the first memory I once shared with James. I was walking into the ice cream parlor when I swung the front entrance door a bit too fast hitting James right in the chest knocking down his ice cream. I felt so terrible that I offered to buy him a new scoop. I was on my way to buy some myself to hopefully eat away the pain I felt inside.

He was so sweet about the whole situation, mostly laughing at how silly it was. He waved it of as no big deal, but I insisted on getting him some more ice cream. We sat down at a table and just started talking. We really hit it off. He was so full of life and content with his own. I can't remember the last time I felt the same. That day he must have sensed something was wrong with me because he placed his hand on top of mine before muttering a "If you need someone to talk to, I'm here you know" as he slightly rubbed his thumb against my wrist.

From that day forward James and I did everything together. He was like my best friend. He was there to listen to me through it all. He was there with me on those endless lonely nights I spent crying when I couldn't help but relive those awfully terrible memories.

Soon over time we became extremely close and that friendship turned to something else. I did care about James and at some point I did think I had feelings for him, it's just I've never loved him the way he's loved me. I've never loved him beyond a best friend type of love. I hate living this way especially since we're almost close to living together. He spends most nights here. I need to call things off before it gets too serious and I end up losing James as well.

I felt someone yawn beneath me and I looked down to see his beautiful hazel eyes starting back at me. "Morning sleepy head" I said brushing away the loose strands of hair that covered his eyes."Morning" he said placing a kiss just below my chin. "Did you sleep well?" I said as I slowly got off the bed. "Mhm" I made my way over to the dresser to pick out an outfit for the day. "You have any plans today?" I heard him say. "Um, I'm thinking about heading out. I need some fresh air." He nodded "That's cool. I'm going out to get some groceries and I'll make lunch for when you come back okay?" It really is hard not to feel so guilty about all this. He's perfect in every way. He shouldn't have to do something like this for someone who doesn't deserve it.