Behind Closed Doors

Chapter Three

Regina watches as Emma drives away, her heart slowly cracking from the desperation to have the savior near her once again. So, she distracts herself and wonders how that hideous car is still running? She shakes her head and closes the front door, pleading with herself to not dwell on what could have been tonight.

Because if she allows her mind to truly feel the depths of her emotions, buried so deeply inside, she would be obsessing over that fact that she once again lost something that was never really hers. And even though, Emma Swan has never been hers, she knows what would have occurred if she would have just kept her big mouth shut. She was desperate for answers, because five years constantly presuming can drive a person a little mad, so she blurted out the one topic she knows is strictly off limits.

And if she was able to control her nagging thoughts a little better this evening, she would most definitely be writhing on her kitchen island right now with the most stunning scene of golden waves spread out and contrasting so beautifully against her own skin while Emma's head bobbed between her legs. She would be raking her fingers through those locks, indefinitely messing up that damn careless ponytail that Emma insists on as of lately. She misses those curls, she misses when Emma would straighten her hair, anything besides that low ponytail that expresses how she just gave up on her appearance...on life.

Even though, none of that really matters to Regina's heart.

With her heavy feet, she trudges upstairs to get ready for bed. She shuffles around her room, on autopilot, reminding herself to not think about her dirty little secrets. However, as she brushes her teeth her mind begins to drift back in time, forcing her to remember those dreadful days of torture in fleeting memories.

~~~~~

"I wish I was strong enough to stop all this, but I'm just not," she confessed to Henry, desperately attempting to reel back the overwhelming emotions, knowing her life, her son's life, was all coming to an end.

And yet, he took her by surprise and leaned into her side to hold her close and wash away the pain of never being enough. She was never enough. He didn't have to say anything, but she knew deep within her tormented heart that this one hug was a peace offering. He had finally forgiven her and accepted all her flaws, all because she tried to save the entire town by risking her own life.

She never has to tell him the truth though. It was never for the town, it was all for him and the one person she still cannot possibly comprehend her mixed emotions for. The halfwit, Emma Swan.

"You may not be strong enough, but maybe we are," the savior so confidently stated before she stepped forward with determination in her eyes and trepidation torturing her quivering hands.

Yet, Regina didn't mutter a single sound, the only thought that haunted her mind was how this damn woman was saving her...again, coming to her recuse, fighting by her side and sticking by her, again. And she knew in that moment that she was starting to feel something more for Emma than just pure irritation and loathing. All because of that strong, independent woman who never allows anyone, including her infuriating and overbearing parents to ever change her opinion about Regina, no matter how many times the mayor and the sheriff have gone head to head.

~~~~

As she finishes brushing her teeth, she takes one long look at herself in the mirror. She doesn't see that bitter woman from all those years ago, yet, she still feels sick to her stomach. Of course, she has changed, she's a hero now, but that doesn't alleviate the tension knot coiling in her gut, knowing what she and Emma are doing behind closed doors. She scoffs at herself and drags her feet out of the bathroom.