February 20

15.8K 961 203

by WriteDrunk

by WriteDrunk

Dear Luke, February 20, 2014

I told you I would write to you today. I keep my promises, now you have to keep yours. Do you remember when you promised we would go to that ridiculous winter festival together? Well it's tomorrow. I know that you won't be awake for that, but, if by some strange miracle you are, we'll sneak you out of there. Then we'll go get ice cream even though it is 20 degrees outside.

Did you know that we are in the UK right now? We finally saved enough money to go to one of the places you wanted to go most in the world, and then you go and get into a car accident. I want to say it's no one's fault; but everyone knows its mine. They can deny it all they want, but you had a reason to go to the drug store. You had to get new bandages for my mistakes on my wrists. And I'm sorry.

I wish it was me instead of you.

My mom is yelling at me right now, because I'm writing to you and not talking to her. Or maybe it's just because I'm writing to you. Makes me look like a loon. Lauren is telling her to let me be, and I'm thankful for that. But I'm not listening anyway. There's no point. Lauren is probably explaining to her that I'm fragile and should be handled with care. Like I will break. She's probably saying how since you're gone I will be worse that ever, and Mom should just let me be. But you're not gone. You're on a vacation. I hope you like it there.

I did it last night. The night of your accident, after I stopped crying, (well I never stopped crying. I just stopped hiccuping and my breaths slowed even enough to think), I promised myself I would never cut again. For you. But last night, I broke a promise. And I'm sorry for that too.

I have to go for now. But I will write to you soon. I promise.

There's that word again.

I love you more than you love me. Or loved.

-Ashton

*~*

I really enjoy this story and I hope you do too.

Vote/Comment/Share

-Katie♡