The Art Of Keeping Up Disappearances // Brallon

Murmur

‡dallon's pov‡

"things are difficult, but easier now, y'know?" i muttered, still moving my pencil over the paper and not looking away.

"totally," elle said from her spot on the floor. ryan and brendon sat on the couch they'd kicked my sister off of. we were in ryan's basement having a harry potter marathon, just relaxing. it'd been a little over a year since brendon had started going to therapy. the year sine had been pretty calm, surprising enough for our group of fuck-shits. 

brendon's dad kicked him out after finding out about his suicide attempt and me being his boyfriend during a heated argument- fine with both of us after the initial shock wore away. he now lived with ryan, who'd been clean for that entire year thanks to his girlfriend's help. they were so happy living together, it only made things easier for everyone. i no longer attended brendon's therapy sessions, but i didn't care. like i said, things were happy and calm.

my dad, however, grew more and more suspicious of brendon and i's relationship. we had to physically be around each other less, but simply texting, or- the more fun option- writing on our arms or legs to each other worked too. like with grey and ryan, his scars had started showing up on me, as well as any bruises we would get, but sweaters were always my first love so it was okay. it was also very fun because that meant any hickeys left on one could be seen on the other. brendon and i often sported circular-as-possible hickeys on our chests with rings and spots drawn on them to make them look like pretty purple planets.

summer vacation was going well for elle. she got a carpeted tower for the cat, and she often works on her summer school work next to it. she didn't do well this year, and i can understand. she had felt a lot of pressure, being worried about me and our dad, stressed about finding her own soulmate, hell, she was still a kid trying to deal with her mom's death.

 it was difficult to keep my own grades up with all the shit going on, and i hardly maintained my 3.5 gpa. but, i did- thank god- so it was easy to keep my options for college open. brendon and i decided to go to different colleges, but to keep them within the same state if we found separate colleges we wanted to go to.

things were good though. things were great.

"what inspired that profound statement?" brendon chuckled from my thighs. i had my legs curled around me at the corner of the couch, sketchbook propped on the arm. he lay on the thickest part of my thigh, with ryan tucked behind his stretched out legs. i was trying to draw him, but he kept moving, so i couldn't get anything right.

"well, i don't know," i sighed and glanced up at the television. "harry's doing pretty shit right now, so maybe it was that. now shut up and stay still, i'm trying to get this perspective right."

he sighed heavily, snuggling his head back into my thigh. ryan batted a hand at us to silently say "shut up!", the returned his total concentration to the screen. after a while, my phone buzzed next to me. the screen lit up with a preview of a message from dad, telling us to come home soon. underneath was a text from frank, updating me for the third time that day how his date with mikey way's brother was going. i groaned, then tapped brendon's forehead to get his attention.

"babe, we have to go." he hugged ryan bye, and i guided elle and brendon from the basement.

entering the house, dad was sitting at the kitchen table. he asked elle and i to sit down, and we had nothing to do but oblige.

"dallon, i'm not proud to say this, but last night you left your phone on the kitchen table after dinner," he sighed heavily, and i felt my stomach drop. there's no way he- "i went through your phone."

tears began pooling in my eyes.

"i read your texts to 'bren'," he hissed out my boyfriend's name. elle gasped softly, and took my hand under the table. "and... i want you to say it, dallon. tell me what your relationship is with him."

"dad you don't have to-" elle began, but our dad held up a hand to silence her.

"i want dallon to say it."

i sat there, staring into his stern blue eyes. i couldn't lie, he already knew, he just wanted me to admit it. and so i did.

"brendon is my boyfriend," i said.

dad stood up, nodded, and simply left. not the room, but the entire house. we both flinched as the front door slammed, sitting there silently until we heard the car pull away from the house. elle stood up to leave, but she just sat back down.

"i'm going to call brendon."

‡‡‡

maybe a few hours later, i was sitting in bed, plucking the strings of the bass brendon had bought me for christmas last year. i'd given him all the drawings i'd done of him that year- i thought they weren't as good as the bass but the next day i went over to ryan's and saw bren had hung them all up on his wall.

i'd called brendon and told him what happened. he had offered to come over, but i'd asked him not to. he reluctantly complied with worry in his voice.

my door suddenly flung open, elle standing in the doorway.

"dad's home."

sure enough, we heard the front door click open and our father call for us- well, me- down. my father, a church goer and leader for longer than i could remember, was standing in front of the stairs holding a brightly printed rainbow hat. he held it out to me and smiled.

"dallon-" he began, but i interrupted him with a hug. tears filled my eyes and fell onto his shirt. 

"dad, i'm sorry," i cried, feeling the hat prod against my back as he hugged me back.

"don't be son, i don't care who you love- well okay i do," he said, holding me before him by the shoulders. "dallon, you dating brendon i... i don't particularly like it. but i went to the church. i prayed. and i realized it doesn't matter how i feel, you love this boy, and that is what's important. so i drove to the mall and bought this from some place."

he handed me the hat.

"thank you, dad." i smiled, tears still flowing hot down my cheeks. he clapped me on the shoulder, tears now springing from his eyes too as i clutched the rainbow snapback to my chest.

"your mom would be so proud of you, finding love and changing this old man's mind."

"thank you, dad," i repeated softly, then went upstairs to tell brendon the good news.

end.