Connor's POV:
i stayed quiet, evan hansen was crying for something as pitiful as me.
"I-I'm sorry, I'm s-s-so sorry, it w-was all my fault wasn't it. F-First you got u-upset b-because of my letter and t-then you asked for my pills and I-I k-knew it was a bad idea but I g-gave them to you anyways to avoid any c-confrontation and I-I shouldn't h-have and maybe you wouldn't be here and I-I'm just so s-so s-sorry." evan rambled quickly and seemingly in one breath while tears poured down his face.
i opened my mouth to start talking about how he was being stupid, but then i actually looked at evan. to say the least he wasn't doing too good. evan's breathing was quick and laboured, his eyes were wide and streaming with tears, and he had his arms wrapped around himself, making him look small, he was holding his non-broken arm and his shirt with his hands. his nails were digging into his arm to the point he would or could probably break the skin.
i panicked. what was i supposed to do? from the looks of it evan was on the verge of a panic attack and i've never helped anyone through one as bad as this one seemed to be leading up to be. i've had my share of attacks but i barely got through those by myself so how was i supposed to help someone else? i didn't know what kind of preferences evan had, i didn't know if he needed time or space or a distraction or his medication, which i'm pretty sure he needed but i had downed.
i did the only thing i could think of and sat up taller and motioned him to come towards me. he had this scared look in his eyes that twisted my heart, what did i expect, he was probably scared of me. he walked forward despite the evident fear in his eyes and stood in front of me.
i did the last thing i think either of us expected.
i pulled evan into a hug. he went rigid as soon as i did and i couldn't blame him, i was a bad person, why would he feel comfortable around me? i was about to pull away when me seemed to crumble and cried into my shoulder while still clutching onto his arm. i slowly, so i didn't startle him, used one of my hands to guide his own hand away from his arm as at this point he was still clutching onto it and i didn't want him to hurt himself when one arm was already broken. he let me guide his hand away and instead clutched onto the front of my hospital gown. i let him.
i also said stuff like "it's okay, we're fine, i'm fine, you're fine, we'll be alright." and after a while he calmed down and would only let out a few sniffles. he tried to apologize again but i just shook my head.
maybe a tad bit late a few nurses rushed in and paused at the door. i glared at them and mouthed 'I'm fine' and, luckily, that got them to go away at least for that time and they left us alone. luckily evan hadn't noticed the nurses.
he separated himself from me after a while and sat down on a chair that was by my hospital bed. i looked over to my desk and grabbed some napkins that were there from left over lunch i think my mom or zoe had and handed them to evan. he thanked me quietly and used them to wipe his face.
"I-I'm sorry, its just you've been out for a-a long t-time and I just- I didn't expect y-you to be, well, so lively? If that m-makes any sense."
"You didn't expect me to wake up." i stated with a shrug. it was true, i mean, after downing a whole prescription and a whole month of being in a coma what chances did i have of actually living?
