A/n: hello ;)))
Connors POV:
holy fucking shit that was a stupid question 'do you like trees?' god dammit connor can't you do anything right?
"Yeah, I-I actually was an apprentice p-park ranger at Ellison State over t-the summer and, I-I don't mean to brag, but I think you'd be impressed b-by my tree knowledge." he said with a proud smile on his face. dispite myself i chuckled.
"Well then maybe I'll learn a few tree facts today." i said glancing at him before looking back at the road.
the rest of the drive was silent, the only thing filling it was the car radio playing, from what i heard, pretty shitty music. i didn't want to ruin the calm atmosphere so i didn't change the tunes and evan ended up sitting in the passenger seat looking out the window and picking at his cast.
"And we're here." i said pulling into a parking lot a little ways away from the actual orchard.
"U-Uh, where is here?" evan asked tentatively starting to open the passenger door while i did the same with mine.
"Well, I mean technically not here, this is just a parking zone so I don't get a ticket, not that I exactly care but this car is kind of important to my family, but I don't know, this place is kind of important and," i shrugged as i closed the door to the car, locking it and shoving the keys into my jacket pocket. "I-I don't know." i finished stupidly
"oh," he said quietly, "I'm sure it'll be lovely." he finished with a small smile.
i coughed awkwardly and turned my head away, rubbing the back of my neck. why was i so awkward again? "... uh yeah, I hope so." oh yeah that's right, he's probably the first person to ever even tolerate me.
we started walking down the little run down path, i could tell evan thought it was pretty sketchy with how his eyes kept dashing from one way to another at an alarming rate, i thought he might make himself dizzy.
"You talked about this place." i started awkwardly.
"I-I-I what?" evan had this wide eyes bewildered look that stated otherwise. i'm not going to lie and say it wasn't disappointing, but i proceeded anyways.
"You talked about this place, my parents asked me how the orchard was when I woke up, I asked why they wanted to know and they said it was because you told them we would hang out here," i glanced at him and then down at his cast before looking back at the trail, "that this was where you broke your arm."
"I am so so so sorry Connor, I-I don't know what I was thinking and I, I mean, I panicked. You're parents were s-so sad a-and I just-"
"Hey Hansen," i turned and stopped to look at him, he was clearly freaking out, "it's fine. I just wanted to bring you here because I knew you liked trees and I thought you knew of this place. I mean, now I know you don't, but still." i finished, turning back to walk again.
"I'm still so sorry Connor, I shouldn't have lied or said anything, I mean you're probably only hanging out with me because you feel like you have to because your parents think we're friends, I know we're not especially after everything I've done and you don't have to hang out with me I'm sorry-"
"Evan," i forced out clenched teeth, his rambling was getting on my nerves, it was a bit overwhelming to hear him say so many hurtful things directed at himself, it made me so angry, i didnt know why or how i could go about it.
"could you shut the fuck up for a second and let me speak?" i asked and turned to him swiftly, causing him to trip over himself for a second. i don't blame him, what i just said caused me to feel shocked in myself.
he caught my eyes before he looked down at the dirt path in embarrassment. i felt guilty, i snapped again. "Sorry..." evan said in a small voice.
fucking splendid.
"No no don't be, I just," i paused and rubbed my face, suddenly i felt extremely tired and i needed some rest. then i looked further down the path, we were so close to the orchard. "We're, uh, were close to the orchard." i finished pathetically.
evan nodded and we continued walking in a tense silence. as we walked the rest of the way i silently hated myself for what i had done. 'god dammit connor can't you do anything right?' you know, all that jazz. it was a pretty common ritual.
once we got to the rickety fence blocking people from getting inside we both noticed that it had a lock on it to prevent others from getting in. "Dammit.." i muttered.
i fished around my pocket for a bobby pin to try to unlock the lock, I was not gonna let a fucking pad lock ruin this adventure. finally i found one at the very bottom of my back pocket and went to work.
"U-uh, Connor?" evan asked quietly while fidgeting with his fingers. he was glancing around again.
"hmm?" i replied nonchalantly while focusing on getting the lock unlocked.
"M-Maybe we should just leave it, a-and go somewhere else, maybe b-back to school?" evan said while coming up to the fence to look at what i was doing.
the lock popped and i pushed the door open. "Too late!" i replied gleefully while waltzing into the park and looking at the worn path and the overgrown trees leading down it.
maybe it wouldn't be a bad day after all.
as long as i keep my shit together anyways.
A/n: y'all that last line is a fucking mood. Anyways hey y'all!!!! I've been going through a lot of shit recently and I'm finally done with it all and get to focus on 3 things I love the most!!!! My boyf, my writing, and music!!!! Also school but honestly I don't love that too much but that is neither here not there. Anyways I'm gonna try to start writing consistently!!! I have a route I want to take for this book and I wanna play it out!!! So I hope you guys enjoy this chapter!
