Does Sorry Mean Anything To You? (Justlex)

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Justin returned home after a long day of work and grocery shopping. He was having a bad day, first he woke up almost two hours late causing him to be late to work, then he got a flat tire, causing him to pull into a turn lane and having to walk to Auto Zone to get help because he didn't have the materials he needed. After that his card got declined at the grocery store, causing him the embarrassment of having to put things back while others waited for him but finally he was home. He walked into the kitchen to put away the groceries but was confused when he saw empty beer bottles on the kitchen counter, him and Alex agreed they wouldn't keep alcohol in the house due to past issues so why were there empty beer bottles in the house?
The boy set the bags he was holding onto the floor and called for his boyfriend, "Alex? "
He was met with no voice but instead groaning and the sound of paper crunching. He called out again but this time got a response, "what?!" The voice was angry, not the vice he was used to hearing.
"Can you come here?"
The groaning he previously heard returned along with some angry muttering.
Alex appeared from the hallway, his hair and clothes were messed up and he was swaying and stumbling, "I'm here, what do you want?" He slurred.
"I'm home and I just didn't know where you were," Justin responded, he figured he'd talk to Alex when he was at least a little bit sober.
"Well you knew I was here and I wasn't in the living room so where the fuck else would I be?" He said, anger laced his words.
Justin wanted to change the subject, but he was still confused, he only saw beer bottles, Alex only gets angry when he drinks whiskey. He saved that thought in the back of his mind, he just wanted Alex to sober up so they could actually talk.
"I got some food, what do you want for dinner?" He asked, knowing that food would help his boyfriend sober up.
"Nothing from you, your food is worse than what we used to get at school," the drunk boy laughed.
Justin bit his tongue, knowing not to talk back. He knew he wasn't the best cook but he just wanted Alex to eat, he needed him sober.
"I can order a pizza or something then," he said.
"With what money?"
'Fuck' Justin thought, he forgot about the incident at the store, they didn't have money for food but apparently they had enough for alcohol. Justin didn't respond to Alex, not knowing what to say.
"Wow, for once you're quiet, you sure you don't have anything to say?" Alex laughed.
"You should go to bed," Justin started, only to be interrupted.
"Don't fucking tell me what to do!" Alex yelled before taking a drink. Justin recognized the bottle as something Alex promised he would never drink again, something that scared Justin, whiskey.
He knew to be scared now, he needed to get Alex to bed and the bottle away from him. "Alex, it's late, you should go to bed. I'll be there soon, I just have to put away the groceries I bought."
"So not only did you take my car but you're spending my money now too?" He angrily asked.
'You let me take the car and it's our money, you may make more but I still make some' he thought but would never say.
"It's never been a problem before, you always let me take the car and we needed food, we pretty much only have top ramen, we needed other stuff," he said softly and calmly, not wanting to anger the other any further.
"Maybe it wouldn't be a problem if you actually contributed to anything, I pay for the car, the apartment, food, the bills, your sorry ass doesn't do anything to help!" He yelled.
Justin stepped back from him, he knew Alex was stressed about money and Justin being fired the month before didn't help them, he was doing whatever he could to bring in money though, which was mainly babysitting and dog walking. It didn't bring in much but it was better than nothing.
"I'm sorry, I'm trying to find a better paying job but nobody's hiring. Baby, please go to bed, we can talk about this in the morning," he said softly.
"Whatever," Alex muttered and turned around to go back into their shared bedroom. He stumbled a bit and then fell right onto his ass.
Justin tried to keep it in, he really did, but the way he fell reminded him of something you'd see in a cartoon and the laughter came out anyway. He covered his mouth, hoping the tiny laugh would be mistaken as a cough or something but, luck was not on his side tonight.
Alex got up and walked towards him, cornering Justin in the kitchen. His voice got very low and quiet, "you do not fucking laugh at me you ungrateful little bitch. I pay for everything for you and you do nothing to repay me, and this is what I get in return," he paused and shook his head, "get in the bedroom, I can't stand to look at you right now."
He moved back so Justin could do as he said.
"No."
"What the fuck do you mean, 'no'?" He said angrily.
"I mean no, you're drunk, I'm not dealing with you right now," he started to walk away.
Alex followed him and grabbed his arm, "where are you going?"
"Away."
"I told you to go to the bedroom," he said, pushing Justin down the hallway, he wouldn't hit him, only push, Justin hoped.
"No," Justin got up and and to the door, "you're drunk, call me when you're sober," he walked out.
"You better not fucking leave this house!" Alex yelled, following him but Justin sped up, needing to get away from him.
Justin got in their car, their car, not Alex's, it's in both of their names. Alex showed up next to him, still trying to grab him and still yelling but Justin ignored it, starting the car and driving off.
Justin pulled into a local Dairy Mart parking lot and cried, he swore this wouldn't happen again, not after last time. Most people would think that the roles would be switched but alcohol changes people. The last time Alex drank whiskey he did more than push him, he hit him, cussed at him, and just made him feel like shit but he promised he would never do it again. It was in that moment Justin realized that promises were made to be broken.
--
Alex was pissed to say the least, how dare he leave him and take his car. He walked back to the apartment and knocked on a neighbors door.
"Hello?" The neighbor asked, already having heard yelling from the boys' apartment and instantly noticing Alex was drunk.
"Can you call the cops for me? someone just stole my car."
"Yeah, of course," the neighbor agreed before they went their separate ways.
Some cops showed up at the apartment, due to the neighbors call. He told them what Alex had said but that he had been drinking and he had heard yelling from the apartment earlier. After talking to Alex, which didn't contain much talking due to him being so drunk they left, they couldn't make any arrests beings as no one had done anything illegal.
--
Justin spent the whole night just driving around, he didn't have anywhere to go. He couldn't stop crying, why did Alex do this?
Hours later, at about four in the morning, he started getting phone calls from Alex which he ignored. He listened to the voice mails he left though.
"Justin, where are you?"
"Babe it's really late, where are you?"
"Justin, I'm worried, why aren't you answering your phone?"
They were all similar but two things were certain, Alex was now sober and he didn't remember anything.
He parked on the side of some back road he didn't know the name of and turned off the car, deciding to get a little bit of sleep, crying until it finally came to him.
He woke up in the afternoon, now a little panicky, the only place left to go was home. He would have to face Alex, have to tell him what he had done, have to find out why. Knowing he'd have to do it sometime, he got back into the driver's seat and started the car, driving back home.
He parked in the designated parking space and sighed, slowly getting out of the car and walking to the apartment door, opening it and stepping in.
Alex rushed to the front door, grabbing Justin and holding him, "where were you, I was so worried?"
"We need to talk."
Both boys sat on the couch and faced each other, after a long period of silence Justin started, "you got drunk. You drank whiskey, something you promised me you'd stay away from. I know you're stressed about money, I am too, I also know that you want to prove your parents wrong, they said we wouldn't make it but we've made it this far. I will get another job, but until someone's hiring, this is all I can do, I know it's not much but it's better than nothing."
Alex nodded, feeling guilty. He knows he shouldn't have drank.
"I know I shouldn't have drank. I know I should have talked to you instead, but I didn't. I'm sorry. Justin, I love you, we will and we can make this work. Just answer one thing for me," Justin looked at him, "did I hurt you last night, I don't remember anything, please tell me."
Justin shook his head, "you pushed me and grabbed me, that the most physical you got."
"Oh thank god, I don't think I would be able to live with myself if I hurt you, again," Alex said, knowing he'd never forgive himself for what he did before.
Justin didn't say anything, only nodded as Alex then wrapped his arms around him, "I love you, and I will never drink again, I promise. I know I've said it before but I will not go back on it this time." All Justin did was hope that this time he actually meant it.

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