Everyone can struggle (Bondi Rescue FanFic)

Chapter 33

When I wake Tom's watching me. "Morning. How are you doing?" I ask, smiling. 

"Better. A lot better. When do I get out of here?" I laugh at his abruptness.

"Well they need to make sure your head's okay and then they'll get the shunt out. After that we'll be back at home but you'll have to take things slow." He nods and hugs me.

"Thank you. For everything." We lay together for a while before a nurse comes in. 

"Morning lovebirds." she teases. "Okay so we need to do one more CT to check everything's still okay then there's one more op which we're hoping to get done today and you'll be set to go tomorrow." He looks so excited I can't help but laugh. "How about we get the CT done now, before the rush?" I smile before I realise they'll leave me here. Tom solves it by saying "I'm not going anywhere without her." 

"Wouldn't dream of seperating you." the nurse laughs with us as she takes us through. The scan takes about an hour and then we're taken back to our room. Surprisingly Chappo's sat on the floor, playing with his phone. He stands as he sees us. "How is everything?" he asks and we simultaneously answer 'great'. He looks at me seriously but I brush it off. "I might get out of here today!" Tom almost shouts. 

"Tomorrow." I say and he sighs. Suddenly his expression changes and I panic. "What? What's happening?" I ask, terrified. In answer he moves his left leg a few millimetres. 

"It doesn't even hurt." he laughs and the tears spill from my eyes. 

"That's great but no more." I say, scared, as he holds his arms out and I bury into them. "It's fine. Relax Lil." he whispers into my hair. 

An unfamiliar voice breaks through the silence "Everything okay?" it asks as I pull away. I see a young doctor and smile, willing him to speak. "Okay so we've reviewed the scan and we're happy to tell you that it's clear so we can remove the shunt. You have an op booked at 11. Any questions?" We shake our heads and he leaves. Chappo moves closer, "Mind if I take Lily for a second mate?" he asks. I don't have a choice in the matter anymore. Tom nods and lets go of my hand as Chap leads me outside. "Have they gone?" he asks and I sigh, shaking my head. 

"I'm getting better at not listening or holding them or whatever though." I say trying to stop him worrying. Evidently it doesn't work as he hugs me.

"Lily.. We've been thinking.." I cut him off "I'm not leaving him. There is no other option. This is my life and I love it." I mentally hit myself at the phrase since it's obvious I don't. 

"Okay.. but we do need to keep an eye on you." I give in as I know I'll be the only one on my side. 

"I'm not going to do anything to hurt Tom. I need to recover for him." He smiles at me as we walk back into Tom's room to find him asleep. As soon as I take his hand he wakes. 

"How long now?" he asks.

"It's half 10 so they'll probably want you ready soon." he smiles and I laugh at the fact that anyone would be this excited for an operation. As if on cue a doctor appears. "You ready?" he asks. Tom nods before asking one question that I really don't like, "Can we do it under local anaesthetic? I'd get out today then right?" The doctor looks flummoxed for a second.

"It's not normal practise.. I suppose.. If it's what you want.." I look to Chappo, silently begging him to argue but he just smiles and comes to stand next to me. "Would you like to come in?" the doctor asks me but Tom stops him. "No. She's not allowed." 

"I think you've got your answer." I say, smiling. As soon as they take Tom away the world goes black. I wake on the floor with Chappo's voice ringing in my ears. "Lily? Sweetheart? Wake up for me." I force my eyes open and he smiles. As I try to sit up he holds me back. "There's nothing you need to do. Just stay there and relax. You just had a bit of a panic." 

"Where is he?" I ask. 

"It's only been 5 minutes. He's probably not even in the op yet." I smile as my eyes close again.

The next time I wake Chappo lets me sit up and then carries me to a chair. "Think you can stay awake now?" he asks and I nod. "He should be in recovery soon. They'll probably only let you in. Do you think you'll be okay?" 

"I'm fine." Almost immediately after I say that the demons force their way back in. 

If you really loved him, you'd be in there with him. You would have tried harder to stay with him. You're so weak and stupid that you faint because you're scared. Chappo doesn't even like you, he just has to be nice to you because it wouldn't look good if a lifeguard allowed someone to leave. 

"Lily? They're back? It's okay lovely. Don't listen to them. You're going to be okay. Nothing they say is true. You don't need to go anywhere." I force myself back into the world and smile at Chappo. 

"Told you I was getting good at that." I try to make him laugh but he just watches me frowning. "Stop. You could at least pretend that I'm not crazy." 

"I won't say anything more." I thank him and we sit in silence for a few minutes before the doctor appears. "The op's all finished. It went well. He coped really well with the local so he should be okay to leave today." I look to Chappo in a panic.

"No. Not today. He's not safe. Not today." Chappo hugs me. 

"He'll be fine Lily. I can stay with you tonight if you like? I'm not working in the morning so it'll be okay." I shake my head. 

"He's going to be ill and I don't want to hurt him. You can't let him come home." Chap hugs me and sighs. 

"You can't keep him here forever. Ask him?" I nod and the doctor leaves to get Tom. He's grinning as he's bought back. "What's going on?" Tom asks, concerned. 

"They want to let you go home..." He smiles. 

"What's the problem then?" he asks and I make Chappo talk. 

"She's scared of hurting you." Tom nods and beckons me to him, pulling me into his arms. 

"I can look after myself Lily. You just focus on you." I sigh because, no matter what he says, I know he wouldn't manage on his own. Chappo watches me with concern. 

"Guys, the offer still stands. I can stay over to keep an eye on you. Both of you." Tom looks to me. 

"Would that make it better Lil?" Tom asks and I nod. The doctor comes back to check on Tom before he's discharged. We manage to convince Tom that he needs help to get into the chair and I realise how hard it will be to make him rest. Chap lifts him into the chair and wheels him out the door as Tom holds my hand. "We'll be okay Lil." I smile at him as Chap carries Tom into the car. I put his chair in the boot before sitting next to him. Soon after we arrive home and Chappo decides to forego the wheelchair and just carry Tom, despite his protesting, to bed. "Tom. I don't care what you try to convince me with. You need to rest and I'm gonna stay with you but you really can't go anywhere." He looks at me, his eyes filled with anger and I recoil, scared. I watch him battle with his emotions before his eyes brim with tears. "Don't argue." he whispers, "Just leave me alone." I force my tears back. 

"It's just the injury lovely. You're still recovering from brain surgery. You don't need to worry. I'm not going anywhere." My mind goes back to the day when we locked ourselves in here but pull it back to reality. He turns his back to me, his body quaking with tears. "Tom. You can't blame yourself. I love you.." I see his wrestle with himself, knowing exactly what it feels like. 

"I love you too." he mutters, taking my hand but still facing away from me.