Everyone can struggle (Bondi Rescue FanFic)

Chapter 69

Tom pulls me closer to him as he starts to stir. I haven't slept all night, too busy thinking. "What time is it?" he asks. 

"Just gone 6. You ok?" He nods. 

"How long have you been up? Is everything okay?" 

"Yeah, yeah it's good. Only a few minutes." I smile as convincingly as I can. 

"You want to go back to sleep then? I'll make sure you're okay.." He looks concerned but I shake my head, pulling him closer and hoping I can stop him worrying. "Lily, what's going on?" 

"I'm fine. You want to go down to the beach today?" 

"No. Lil, you need to rest and we need to stay at home so you're safe. There's a lot of dangerous stuff at the beach." What have I done to him? I've made him terrified of going out.

"You want to get up and I'll go start breakfast?" 

"Be careful and shout if you need." he says, fearfully but I nod smiling. I look at the list Maxi made of who's off when and find Jesse next  to today: that won't go down well with Tom but it might be helpful to sort this out before it gets worse. I go to the garden, so I can hear Tom before he sees me, and dial Jesse's number. He picks up quickly and agrees to come round. I walk back into the house as I hear Tom shouting. "I just wanted some air" I tell him and he nods, pulling me into a hug. 

"Can I walk?" he asks and I smile, getting the frame out of the cupboard (where I keep it locked away now) and move the bars back to their usual width before putting it down between them. I help him stand and he places his hands on the frame, taking a step forward. His legs shake and I start to panic. "It's okay Lil, it's only because they've not had to work for a few days" he tells me. He takes a few more paces before he climbs back into the chair just as there's a knock at the door. Tom looks confused. "It slipped my mind.." I mutter, "Jesse's coming and we're gonna sort out this problem you have with him." He looks angry and I wait for him to shout at me as Jess comes in. 

"Get out of our house." Tom says, slowly at first, "You did this. You could have killed her, you are not welcome here! Get out now!" 

"Just go wait outside for a second Jess, sorry." I smile at him and he nods fearfully, "Tom. I need him in my life okay? Just like I need you and Maxi and Chap, he understands- probably more than any of you." I start to get angry, remembering some of the things Tom said.  "How the Hell can this be his fault? But guess what? I bet he's already thinking that because that's what he does. God help you if you make him relapse."

"Lily.. He did this to you. Think reasonably, he should have told me. I could have done something. We could have stopped this. I bet he's been plotting this.." He starts to talk more harshly but I cut him off.

"Don't you dare! He didn't force me to pick up the knife; he wasn't even here!" I'm shouting by the end and Tom looks upset but I don't care. I leave in a fit of anger and find Jesse stood in the garden, his back to me. He doesn't turn around but starts to speak.

"Why did you invite me here? What could  I possibly do? He hates me Lil, and he's right I could have killed you. I need to leave you. I was stupid and I need to be punished. I'll get Maxi to come round later. Take care." This isn't how it was meant to happen. 

"Just come inside Jess. We need to sort this out. He's overreacting and you both need to see it before something bad happens. Please.." I'm practically begging him but I need to keep them both safe. He nods and follows me inside but not before I see him swipe away tears. Jesse crying is not a good thing; I really hope I can fix this. Tom looks angry again as he sees Jesse but I hold up my hand, staying standing to try and look authoritative. "Leave it Tom. I want you to, calmly, explain what's upset you. Jess, don't take it personally and just listen."