Bale-inator [ #Wattys2017 ]

Author's Introduction

So, sit your ass down and get ready for the story of a lifetime.

Here's the tea: we love Christian Bale. Ever since Everard and I were in middle school, we seemed to have an inseparable bond over the Batman film series. And who was the Batman during that treacherous pre-pubescent time? Christian Bale, that's who. Christian Bale is our Batman, not that insurance duck, Ben Aflac® or whatever.

While Christian Bale took on such a large role in lives not only as the wonderful and unforgettable Batman, but also as the crazy loon that we locked up. Yea, that's right.

WE LOCKED HIM UP.

(But not actually. But for this story, you're gonna believe that we did.)

Here, we're going to tell you all about our master plan and how it all went wrong. That's right: DON'T TRY THIS AT HOME, KIDS.

(Or you can. It'll make a great story. Especially at parties ;) - Blackley)

So, let's cut to the chase.

We are going to prove to you IN WRITING that:
Ben Aflac® sux.
And Christian Bale?
You da true MVP.

Sincerely,A. Blackley & A. Everard