Bale-inator [ #Wattys2017 ]

Chapter Two

So, you're probably wondering how we were able to lure Christian Bale on the top of our apartment rooftop, right?

Well, we are too. We would like to think that seduced him, but let's be real here.

I don't know, Blackley. I think I did a bit of seducing, but YOU? I'm not so sure...

ROOD-

ANYWAY

We saw him walking gracefully across the street near our apartment and, as any fangirl would, we ran up to him. He obviously was flustered by our stunning beauty, but we tried not to let that ruin the moment.

We told him that there was an amazing celebrity rooftop party in our apartment building and that he NEEDED to be there. Like, no if's, and's, or but's. It was a REQUIREMENT. No rooftop party is complete without Christian Bale, am I right?

So, he ran across the street without a care in the world to get to this party. We knew that we had him in the palm of our hands. NOTHING could stop us now.

Now, if you didn't know this, Christian Bale running up the stairs is the most amazing thing ever. His bulging calf muscles are so stunning. They grab your attention effortlessly. Blackley and I were nearly drooling (although she wouldn't want to admit it to any of you). It was like we were watching Baywatch, but instead of those subpar girls, we had a hunk of HANDSOME. Sorry, ladies.

Finally, he had reached the rooftop. Our plan could commence. We slammed the door shut, locking it behind us before Bale could even say "Batman" (and believe me, he will).

"BATMAN," he shouted, whipping around to look at us. We looked dumbstruck, shocked by his reaction. The two of us looked around, beyond confused.

"Where did everyone GO?" Blackley asked sarcastically, running around the rooftop as if it were a large game of hide and seek.

"Maybe it's a surprise party," Everard suggested, taking his muscular arm in hers as she took him to follow Blackley. He wasn't sure what to think, stopping suddenly.

"What happened? Why did you do that?" He looked flustered still, stunned by the amazing beauty that was now magnified by the sunset that rested on the horizon.

"Okay, well, here's the thing. We really like you. Like, really really like you. Like we are INFATUATED with you. And we thought that maybe, just maybe, you could potentially like us back if we... locked you up on a rooftop for 24 hours..?"

"Do you sell kids?"

"No, but we can for you, Mr. Wayne." Everard was in full seduction mode. She was prepared to do anything and EVERYTHING for this man. And she would.

"Oh," he blushed, biting his lip. Blackley died inside. It was quite funny, actually.

(I died because I thought that you both were trafficking kids, Everard.)

(Ok but remember, Blackley. I added this because some man in Starbucks asked if someone was selling kids. We are in a public establishment. THIS IS STARBUCKS, FOR CRYING OUTLOUD. I couldn't NOT include it. Come on, now. This is NoHopeWeekly we're talking about.)

(I think I need to get myself some more caffeine in order to continue writing this with you.)

"But yeah, if you haven't learned by now," she interrupted, "we're just crazy."