Instagram | Magcon Vol. 2

twenty

|shawn mendes|
it sort of sucks that i have to lie to everyone.

i am not really dating camila. my management is making me for publicity purposes. i'd never be one to do this, because lying is a big no no in the shawn mendes book of life, but- honestly i don't even know why i agreed to it.

the timing couldn't be worse. for the past year i've been working with this amazing girl. she was everything i had ever dreamed about, and i screwed it up completely.

a month ago i was at this gathering with all of our closest friends and i was talking to taylor about eleanor. he asked me what i thought about her and i promise you i bet an entire wikipedia page of how much i liked her was blurted out right there.

everyone had asked me that and also if i was single and at that time the whole camila thing wasn't officialy, so i told the truth? at the time that's what it was.

i do like her, a lot. she was so different, but that's what made her perfect. i wish i could tell her the truth, but for now it'd have to be a secret.

i decided to stop thinking so much and got out of bed. after i did all of that fun hygenic stuff clean people do in the morning, i walked out of the bedroom. i walked into the living room and saw eleanor sitting on the couch.

"hi." i said from behind her. she just sat there. as if she was looking at something. her eyes were very focused on whatever it was. i looked at myself to see if maybe there was something on my face, and realized i was shirtless.

i felt my cheeks turn a bright red, and smiled to myself. she let out a small cough and giggled a little at the end. she had the weirdest laugh, but it was the best one to me. "sorry." she looked down at her hands.

"it's fine." i laughed as i sat next to her. "you're earlier than usual."  i said as i grabbed a muffin that was on the table. mm, muffins. "it's a big day today, and i wanted to talk." she mumbled that last part. "what about?" i asked taking another bite of my muffin, and then putting it down keeping my full attention on her.

"i'm kind of upset." she looked down and played with her fingers. "why?" i asked concerned. "well, you told taylor basically a whole novel about how much you liked me, sent me all the signals, and said you were single. and now....you're going out with camila." i could hear the sadness in her voice.

i kind of want to kill taylor for telling her, but he was pretty drunk that night so he probably told even a stranger...okay more than one taylor was really drunk.

"i'm sorry. i wish i could tell-" she cut me off. "don't give me that crap. you either tell me or you don't shawn. i've been single for years. i've been cheated on,used,taken for granted. i just want to be happy." she said with a hint of sadness in her voice. i felt horrible.

i didn't know what to say. "that night with taylor, we were all pretty drunk. maybe the words just slipped out, and camila and i just started dating." the moment those words came out of my mouth i regretted them. crap, i'm terrible.

she stood up signaling she was going to leave. i got up at the same time as her blocking her way. i'm pretty tall, and she's sort of short so i was a good "shield".

"can you move?" she rolled her eyes. i loved it when she did that. "nope." i said popping the p. "whatever." she crossed her arms on her chest. "tell me something." she said. "what can i tell you?" i said slightly confused.

"how sober are you right now?" she smirked. "pretty sober." i replied with honesty. "if you only have feelings for me when you're drunk..." she took a step foward. we were inches apart. "then you won't feel a thing when i do this." "since you're sober."

she wrapped her arms around my neck, while on her tippy toes, and kissed me. boy, did she kiss me. instinct told me to snake my arms around her waist and pull her in more, like there's nothing holding me back. i was craving more. i was craving her.

she pulled away leaving me breathless. i was grasping for air while she stood befofe me. arms crossed with a smirk on her face. "well, i'll see you at tonight's show?" she made her way to the door.

"yeah, yeah, right. tonight." i was at lost for words. all i could think about was that kiss. it was like my lips missed hers, after one kiss. that's crazy, right?

she closed the door behind her and i plopped myself back on the couch grabbing my muffin from before again.

i had a lot to think about.

-----

shawn's head over heels! ❤️

thanks for almost 20k💕 x aliyah