Instagram | Magcon Vol. 2

thirty nine

|shawn mendes|
i woke up and knew what i had to do.

i was going to break-up with camila. i didn't care what my management said, because i couldn't be in a relationship with someone i didn't even love.

someone who barely crossed my mind. when i was with camila i thought about el. i thought about us being together. every time camila and i "kissed" (which happened rarely) i thought of kissing el.

she was always on my mind, and i loved it.

i showered, got dressed, ate a quick muffin for breakfast (i love those things), and made my way to camila's room. we didn't even share a room. if i was with el i'd arrange for us to always share rooms. 

i'd always imagine us cuddling, even if she wasn't a cuddler...i'd make her one.

shawn, snap out of it. i thought to myself. first step to all of this was to break-up with camila.

i knocked on her door and there was no answer. i saw the do not disturb sign on her door handle. it was 12:00 so i found it odd that she was still sleeping until noon like this.

very odd.

i yolo-ed it and decided to open the door with the key card the management gave me in case i wanted to go into her room.

i opened the door and immediately saw camila in bed...with a waiter? "shawn! what are you doing here?" she quickly got off the clearly undressed man and covered her body with a robe nearby.

"i came to break-up with you, and clearly i have more reasons than before." i said bluntly. "what?! you can't do that! our managers-" she started to whine, but i cut her off. "camila, no. cut the bullshit, neither of us want this. especially me. we're done." i walked out, but felt someone grab my arm. i turned around and saw camila.

"shawn, please! i love you!" she started to cry. i groaned, knowing she was faking. "keep telling yourself that." i got out of her grip and walked back to my room.

even though i didn't have any feelings for camila, it kind of hurt that she cheated on me.

to just be violated like that, taken advantage of...would el do that to me? no. she wouldn't. she knows this feeling.

but does that mean she wouldn't give it to someone else?

i shook of the negative thoughts and went back to my hotel room. i didn't bother looking at my phone like i usually do, because i expect to have many calls from my managers. i just threw it in the middle of the couch after i turned it off.

i plopped myself on the bed and just moped.

i have no idea why i felt so sad over this, but i did. even though i never really loved of liked camila, i trusted her...at least as a friend.

i thought about it too much, overthinking it.

i guess i was do deep in my thoughts, that i didn't even notice the hard knocking on the door. i didn't answer it thinking it was camila, and it eventually stopped.

"shawn?" i saw her. el was right there before my eyes, and all i could do was hug her. "woah there, you know i don't like hugs." she laughed. i only held on tighter. "you're not that bad anyways mendes." she wrapped her arms around my neck.

we stood there for a while, and it felt...nice.

"shawn, are you crying?" i didn't even realize i was until i felt her shoulder feeling wet. i pulled out of the hug and ran my hands through my hair feeling embarrassed.

"what's wrong shawny boy?" she looked at me dead in the eyes. "you wanna sit?" she asked concerned. i just stood there. it was like i was lost for words, over nothing..i'm so dramatic. "i flew all the way here from la to see you and you just stay quiet." she blushed a little realizing what she said. i grabbed her hand and directed us to the couch.

we sat down side by side. i expected her to let go of my hand, but she only held on tighter. she seemed to like it. good, cause i did too...a lot.

"what's going on in that crazy mind of yours?" she asked. "i went to break-up with camila today..." she motioned for me to continue, with her full attention on me.

did i mention she looked gorgeous as ever today? it was like everyday she got more and more beautiful.

"i found her in bed. with a waiter that she was flirting with last night at dinner." i looked down at my lap as i let go of her hand feeling ashamed, shy, betrayed?

she took my hand and interwined our fingers. "shawny boy. she's not good for you." she started. "you are the sweetest human being i have ever met. you're kind, caring, considerate, and so damn cute puppies all over should be jealous." she blushed lightly.

"no one in this world deserves how amazing you are." she finished with a sad look on her face. i put my finger on her chin and lifted her head up. "you." "you deserve me." i whispered.

she slightly smiled and looked at me.

we just stared at eachother for a moment there. i could feel the warmth in her words, her presence, everything about her just felt like...

home.

"shawn." she whispered. "yes?" i said back giggling a little. "kiss me." she replied.

i held her cheeks with my hands and pulled her in for a kiss. it wasn't a passionate crazy kiss, but it was amazing.

every time our lips touched she left me wanting more. she started to kiss me deeper, with more desire and i put her on my lap.

her legs were wrapped around my waist, with my hands tracing her back. she started to play with my hair as we still kissed.

i licked the bottom of her lip asking for entrance, and she opened her mouth slightly giving it to me.

she pulled away from the kiss leaving us both breathless. she smiled as she saw my messy hair and obviously pleased face.

"el-"

"yes, i'll be your girlfriend." she cut me off knowing what i was going to say.

this day started with me moping about camila, and ended with me having the most amazing woman on earth in my arms.

what a funny turn of events.

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things getting a little steamy... x aliyah

qotd: what's your dream job?