She's a Rebel // Ben Finn x Princess

Chapter 15

After spending the vast majority of the night searching for Page, and keeping a lookout for our original targets, we finally gave in around the time the sun was announcing its decision to rise. I threw myself, gracelessly, onto the dewy grass atop the hill nearest to the Demon Door. It was the first Demon Door that I had no idea how to open, and, incidentally, I had no desire to. Ben followed my lead, sitting so close beside me that it couldn't be an accident, both of us intently watching the initial burst of colour begin to spill across the canvas of sky. Absentmindedly, I leaned my head against his shoulder, an action to which he responded by shifting his position to support me.

"This is all never going to end, is it?" I mumbled, my words obscured by the rough red fabric of his jacket. "All of this stress and running after people. Solving everyone's problems. It's never going to get any easier, is it? I don't even know if it's worth it anymore."

"Every saint says that, I bet," he replied, staring straight ahead. "It's not that it's never going to end, it's that you're never going to stop. No matter how tired you get, you know full well it's the only thing you'll ever do," I nodded, breathing in the sweet scent of gunpowder, fairly convinced that it was a natural aroma for him, not a consequence of battle, "and I admire you for that, I really do."

I let the conversation drop, knowing that no words I could contribute would add anything of value. The chirping of birds floated towards us from the woods we had been lost in just minutes ago, echoing our failure. I sighed, though whether of contentment or frustration I was unsure. A light wind provided me with an excuse to seek Ben's body heat - although I knew he wouldn't complain otherwise. As my mind ran over the events of the previous night, I became more fixated on his confession. I looked to him, and at my movement, he glanced down at me, a slight smile tugging at his lips.

"I wish you could see your face right now," he told me, looking back to the bleeding eruption of sky, "because you're grinning like a fool." I giggled, in response, and he sighed. "Did you know that this is pretty much all I've wanted for five and a half years?" He pulled his knees up to his chest, forcing me away from him for a moment as he ran his hand through his hair. Ben Finn code for 'I'm about to be serious'.

"Why did you wait so long to tell me?" I asked, examining my fingernails so as to not be directly in the moment, as if someone else had asked the question and I was mildly interested in the reply, simultaneously anticipating and dreading his answer, "if you felt it since you met me, why did you not say something straight away?"

"Didn't think it right," he shrugged, "I had barely made Captain back then, and I had a reputation. Both amongst the boys in the brigade and in every tavern in Albion. I couldn't shake the feeling you were far too sophisticated for me. And, I'll admit, I haven't always been a relationship guy. But when I saw you, I... everything changed, Rose. I don't know how to describe it."

"Try," I whispered; the moment bathed in sunlight, the trees casting shadows across our intertwined limbs and his voice, soft and low - it was all magical, and it was all mine.

"I... it was like growing up. I knew from the moment I saw you that I would do anything for you, or just to get your attention. Every other girl I've laid eyes on since you has... I don't know, just not been enough, I guess." Ben looked at me, and upon seeing the quizzical look I just couldn't hide, added, "yes, even Page."

"You seemed so genuine," I smiled, the reassurance I would have been too shy or embarrassed to ever have asked him for coursing through my blood like a sugar rush. "Did you ever like her? Like, at all?" He laughed, genuinely, loudly, and I watched the happiness pour over him. "What? You used to constantly flirt, you've even flirted with her since you've been back!"

"As pleased as I am to hear that I succeeded in making you jealous, it was all to either annoy her, or to get you involved in the conversation," his eyes sparkled, a tone of reminiscence lacing his voice. "Mostly to annoy her, though. For such a ferocious leader, she sure is easy to wind up. But, you... you never even glanced in my direction. And that just made me want you more, honestly."