XV

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I knew it. I felt this weird connection with him as soon as I saw him.
"I'm Zy." I somewhat whisper. He looks at me with a warm smile.
"Nice to meet you Zy. I'm not going to lie to you, I didn't know you existed. Whose your mom?"

"Cassie Robinson."

"I should have known. How's she doing? And why did she let you travel like this; you're too young."

"She's....she's dead." He slows down the car and turns to me, a sympathetic look on his face.

"I'm so sorry Zy. I didn't know. It must be hard."
He patted my shoulder trying to comfort me even though I didn't need it.

"I'm fine. It was three years ago. I lost grandma too.... I've learned to move on."

"That's great Zy, but sometimes it's okay to grieve."

"Either grieve and be killed or get over it and survive. There's no choice. There's only what needs to be done. And grieving is the least off my problems right now." He chuckles at me, making me look at him in confusion.

"You sound just like Dean." That brought a smile to my face.

"Speaking of him, where is he?"

"I have no clue. Probably trapped in a dungeon somewhere. He doesn't know how to keep his mouth shut sometimes." Sam shook his head in disappointment. I can tell Dad gets in a lot of trouble.

"What now? Do you know where Cas is?" We rode till we got to a little town; Sam bought us a motel room with two beds, obviously.

"I dunno. But we'll find him. We always do." I nod unsure if he was telling the truth. I put my stuff on a chair by the dining table and lay in my bed; plaid comforter and plaid pillow cases. For some reason, all this plaid brought me comfort, helping me fall asleep quickly.

I woke to the sound of rhythmic tapping. Turning over, I saw Sam sitting at the table, typing away at his computer; Bobby was laying motionless on Sam's bed. I guess he didn't go to sleep. I slid out of bed and slow walked to the bathroom. Whatever was on the computer had his full attention; he didn't even turn my way when the floor creaked.
I stood in front of the mirror, thinking of a plan to find Dean. Sam thinks he's fine and he's just on a job, but I know better. If he knows I exist now, wouldn't he try to come find me? Or does he not care about me? Maybe he feels guilty that he missed out on my childhood.
Maybe I'll find him instead. By miracle, maybe I'll see him somewhere and I can talk to him. But how do I get past Sam? Now that he's found me, I doubt he's gonna let me out of his eyesight.....
Unless...I get him to take me somewhere crowded. Brilliant, Zy!

I open the door to Sam cleaning guns on the table. What's up with men and handling guns?

"Hey um Sam? I've been wearing the same clothes for the past couple days. Do you think you can. I don't know, take me to the mall today? Just an outfit or two?" I mustered an innocent face. Sam raised an eyebrow in suspicion.

"Yeah, sure. Of course. Let me just, uh, finish this and we can go." I smile covered my face; thanks for going along with my plan. Now for step two.

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We park in front of the mall and head to the juniors section. Sam studied the plaid shirts while I tried to find something to "try on".  I found a couple dresses and told Sam I was going to try them on while he went over to the shoe section to find me some boots. Walking toward the dressing room, I glance over my shoulder as Sam walks across the mall to the shoe section. I wait for him to walk into a store, put down the dresses, and make a run for the nearest door. Busting through it, I walk normally trying to not draw attention to myself.
I get to an old car parked by itself near the edge of the parking lot. Using a piece of wire I found on the ground, I unlock the door and hot wire the car. I put my bag on the floor in the back seat and start up the engine.
"Zy? Zy where are you!" Looking through the side view mirror, I see Sam asking people if they've seen me. I fumble to get out of the parking spot as Sam stares straight at the car.
Realization crossing his face, he sprints toward the car at full speed.
"Come on!" I finally get out the space and hit the gas at full power. I go through a back road onto the main highway.

What am I doing?

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