Awake

Chapter 7

After many ugly arguments between Dad and Lucas, they finally agreed that Lucas would finish the school year on campus and that for the next year, if he still wanted to stay home, he could. The whole time, Lucas was stubborn as ever, insisting on staying home with me and Mom, until Dad threatened to stop paying his tuition if he didn't go back to campus for the rest of the year. The fire in Luke's eyes never went out, but it grew smaller after Dad made him decide. He was reluctant to go, and reminded me at least a hundred times on the way to the airport to call or text him immediately if anything happened. After I reassured him every time, he went through security and towards the gate, looking back every couple of seconds.

Jennie was reluctant to leave too, and Jeremy had to basically drag her out the door. She also reminded me numerous times to call and text her, and to keep her updated on other things in my life. Even though it was tense most of the time Jennie and Lucas were home, things went better than expected and I actually feel closer to my siblings than I did before. Mom and I continued to grow closer, and I actually felt like I knew her. As we all continued to keep in touch, Dad faded further and further away from us, and by Christmas break, I felt like I hardly knew him.

Through it all, Nathan has been amazing to me, helping me feel stronger than I ever have. There were days that Mom and Dad argued a lot more than usual, or that Dad would pick on me, but Nathan has helped me feel like I can get through this. Dad has been drinking a lot more than he used to, and the stench of alcohol sticks in the air whenever he does come home. He's terribly mean when he's drunk, and it's gotten so bad that I don't know he can find his way back to the person he used to be, the person my mom fell in love with and married. All I'm sure of is that he's not the same father I've known growing up, and the light in his eyes has diminished. His once bright, blue eyes are now a dull, stormy gray color that are normally bloodshot and strained.

My siblings came home again for Christmas break, and all of us spent every second that we could together. Naturally, Jennie and Lucas swarmed my room the second they arrived, drilling me with questions about how things have been at home and at school. I was completely honest with them how things were going at home, which hurt them to hear, but I did lie a little about how things were going at school. I haven't been sleeping, and have found myself falling behind on my schoolwork. Mom has noticed my grades, and she's only mentioned it a couple of times, but considering the circumstances, she's let it slide so far. I know that for my last semester of high school, she would keep nagging me to finish strong, regardless of how things were going at home.

I knew that I would need to ask Katie for help, since she was sure to finish the year as our class valedictorian, and she was the one person that would be able to push me to raise my grades. Nathan is great with schoolwork and studying, but he was also a pretty big distraction. We spent more time playing music together than anything else, and Katie wouldn't allow any room for distractions. Since Nathan and I have been together, the only time Katie and I spent together was between classes and in class. Even though we had the World History class together, we sat on opposite sides of the room. She preferred to sit front and center, soaking up every ounce of knowledge possible, where I chose to sneak in the back corner of the room.

Katie was friendly to Nathan, but I could tell she wasn't a fan of his. Any time he would come up to me in the hall during passing period, she would go silent and fumble for an excuse to leave. For a couple weeks, she darted around me to escape the classroom, and would basically sprint through the halls to avoid me. This semester, I promised myself I would make it up to her, and spend more time with her, without Nathan around. I had tried to corner her, asking her what was wrong, but she refused to budge, just insisting she was fine and that she "had to get going." I loved Nathan, no doubt, but I didn't love that while I gained Nathan, I felt like I was losing the only true friend I've ever really had.