Forgetting Logic | Book One

12

Split me into two and choose which you prefer of me. See I prayed to God that when I die I would resurrect as someone spiteful enough to hate you again.

-Alexander

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4

Days until summer

Monday, May 26
8:00am
Kings College: Political Science

"Denial"

I often found myself drowning in to the music of my earphones during class. Whatever the professor seemed to be talking about didn't mean as much as it usually did anymore.

Nothing really meant as much as it did anymore.

I often found myself sinking into an abyss of what have I gotten myself into.

I'm confused about what exactly has been happening over the past month. It escalated very quickly and I couldn't catch a grip on to reality. Every day was a new problem or red flag that I ignored.

Sometimes I wish that I never would've allowed myself to let my guard down. I wish that I never saw him at that damn coffee shop. I wish he never knew I fucking existed.

It had been an hour since class has started and we still had another half hour to go.

I couldn't concentrate.

I grabbed my bookbag and laptop. Without asking I pushed my seat back and said my 'excuse me's' down the row until I walked up the steps of the lecture hall and out the door.

The light of the sun blinded me as I walked to the East Wing Cafe to grab some lunch. The wind blew through my hair lightly as each stranded went there own way. I placed my shades over my eyes and took in the sweet breeze of New York.

It was days like this that I felt a sort of freedom that only came every once in a lifetime.

A smile crept up on my face as I met John at our usual table in the corner of the cafe. It's usual dimly lit atmosphere gave a sense of familiarity​. I assumed John heard the bell that indicated that a customer has entered the establishment by the way he turned around the face the door.

Once he saw me he smiled and waved brightly.

He always had the most gorgeous smile.

I walked over to the table where we always sat and sat on the opposite side of John. Scooting into the farthest side of the booth I swung my legs on the seat as well so I was facing sideways.

After I settled in I pushed my glasses up on top of my head and turned my head to face John. "What's cooking good-looking?"

He laughed and shook his head. "What's got you so flirty today? I rarely get a compliment from you?"

"I feel good today, like nothing can bring me down. Plus I can't compliment my sexy best friend?"

"Okay where's Alexander and what did you do to him." John looked at me worriedly. He honestly thought something was wrong with me.