Since You Left Me

Two Months Later

I sat in the courtyard in the same spot where me and Ben had last spoken weeks ago. "Hey." A familiar voice sounded as his shoulders brushed mine. "Oh hey Dax." He broke into a smirk as he flicked his brown hair out of his hazel eyes. "How are you?" He mumbled as I fiddled with his hands. "Getting there I guess." I sighed shrugging. "You sure?" I looked into his eyes before shaking my head. "No." I said sighing before continuing. "I don't know I miss him a lot and well I wish he were here." "That's understandable." He mumbled knowing I had more to say. "And Ben well he and I he just. Ugh." I moaned putting my head down on the picnic table. "What's wrong?" He asked knowing what had happened. "He won't talk to me, he ignores me, and well I don't blame him. Plus it's been like two months. I figured he would be out of his pity party and at least be my friend again." I sighed finally telling someone what I really thought about the whole situation with Ben. "What happened in the first place." I looked at him as if he didn't know already but he just looked at men confusion filling his eyes. "Well I told him I wanted to take things slow and well he quit talking to me all together and well Eli's gone I only have you and Jordan left and I hate it." I sighed mumbling as he picked up my head and looked me in the eyes. "I'll always be here." He mumbled as I looked at him thankfully. "Thank you Dax." He sighed and hugged me before pulling away. "What about Braxton?" He asked chuckling as I shook my head and flicked  eyebrows up before putting my head back down. "You know how he is. Me and him don't really talk for the fact that he and Ben are cousins and everything, plus he makes fun of me every chance he gets about that." I sighed as Dax smirked. "They aren't blood related." He smirked deviously as I stifled a laugh. "So? Step cousins are worst." I said picking my head back up. Now Dax was holding my trembling hands in his as he sat beside me looking me in the eyes. "You always listen Dax always why?" I whispered so lowly I didn't think he heard, but after a second he leaned closer where his breath was fanning over my ear.  "Because everyone needs to be listened to I guess I don't know I just," he said before pausing. I picked my head up just in time to see him blowing kisses at three different girls one right after the other, "Like listening to you. Your voice is angelic and your so honest and blunt and kind." He muttered as I rolled my eyes still focused on the interaction that had just happened. "Your a player i know this." I sighed laughing lightly as he sighed. "No im not a player Bella." He said snapping his head back to me and slouching slightly. "Well you act like one." "No I do not." He pleaded as I raised an eyebrow. "Sureeee." I mumbled under my breath as he rolled his eyes. "Whatever but anyway you know how everyone has that one person they pick to be there for them and that person either makes or breaks them?" He asked as I raised an eyebrow in confusion. He sighed before continuing this time using elaborate hand motions. "Well im the person you picked. You have trust issues I can tell and well you picked me to trust and I could either break that and all the trust you have or show you some people are just worth trusting." He said before standing up. Then before I could say anything he walked away.

Was he right? Did I pick him to trust? He reminded me of Laden a friend that was well Laden. He lived across the street and we were inseparable as kids but the older we got the more he resented me and now well now we never see each other and barely speak when we do. Dax Ryder reminding me of Laden Pine was a good and bad thing. It had many perks as well as downfalls. It gave me the sense to trust him. But also guard myself. This was all confusing me so much. I ran my hand through my hair frustratedly.

Once I was home and sitting on the beach with Eli's box and mine beside me i stared out at the ocean. Why did you leave me? Why did you do it? Why did you disrupt our system of reality? Why? I whispered as the tears fell. "Hey." I stayed staring straight ahead knowing who it was already. "Hi." I said barely audible. He must of looked down at the boxes. "What's that?" He asked sitting next to the boxes where they were in between us now and flicking his chin towards them. "Letters." i mumbled. "Of?" He asked leaning over where his head was practically on my shoulder. "Letters me and Eli have written over the years mine is the lime green and pink one it has all the letters he's ever written to me since we were 13 in it and his is the black and blue one with letters that I've written him since we were 13. But mine has one extra. One that I can't seem to open." I mumbled not knowing why I said the last three sentences. "Why?" He asked curiously glancing down at the boxes but not taking his chin off of my shoulder. "He wrote it the day he died and im afraid ill find out the truth and it will be something that makes this whole situation more devastating." I sighed. He was so easy to talk to that my words practically flowed out of my mouth without giving my brain time to process what I am thinking. Im trying to keep him at a distance but its not working. My brain won't let me. "So you don't want to find out why he did it?" He asked moving the boxes on the other side of him and scooting closer. "Dax, of course I do but im scared." I said as he wrapped his arms securely around me. "Its okay to be scared." He muttered before staying with me for a while. After a long time he stood up and I thought he left as I hung my head low. Just when I thought he was really gone a shadow appeared over me with an outstretched hand. "Come on im taking you somewhere." I hesitated but grabbed the boxes and his hand before we walked to my bedroom. I slipped my box under my bed and placed Eli's in its spot in the corner before taking Dax's hand again and ready to go on the journey he is willing to take me on. I guess this was step in the direction of moving on. It had to be. It just had to be.