Hope (Enoch O'Connor x Reader)

Chapter 31: You are beautiful in every way possible...

"What?" The word slips out of my mouth, shock written all over my face.

"I'm not afraid of you." Enoch says.

"Um... why not?" I ask.

"Why do you assume that I would be afraid of you?" Oh my God. Did he really just ask that? Isn't it obvious?!

"Look at me. I'm ugly. I'm abnormal. I'm—"

"Do you really think that about yourself?" Enoch asks incredulously.

"I don't think that. It's the truth."

"No. I don't think it is."

"Enoch, my whole life people have judged me about the way I look and—"

"See? You don't think that you're ugly. Stupid people with stupid opinions think that!"

"But they're right!" I yell in his face. "They're right and you know it. I'm a freak. I'm strange. I'm dangerous." I look away from him.

"Isn't that what they say about all peculiars?" Enoch places his hand under my chin and forces me to look at him.

"Yeah, but you wouldn't you wouldn't understand. You don't look like me."

"No, I don't have blue skin, but people judged me the exact same way. They called me weird and freaky and dangerous. Just because I had a special talent that they didn't, I was the outcast. The odd one out. Trust me, I understand."

"But you're not a monster." I whisper.

"You don't look like a monster. Don't say that."

"No, I look like a freak show. But I am a monster."

"Don't say that either."

"But it's true. When I was born, I had blue skin and yellow eyes. My Mum left me and my Dad because she apparently didn't want to deal with me." I take a shaky breath, then continue. "My Dad was an alcoholic. He was never home to look after me. Always drinking himself away at the pub. He never hurt me, but he may as well of for the way he took care of me. I had to fend for myself. It's a miracle I survived. I was always afraid to go outside, to be seen by the other children. They always used to hurt me. Push me over, kick me till I screamed, bash my brains in with a baseball bat, hoping that they would kill me. Sometimes I used to wish they did kill me. I couldn't fight back. I was six. I had nothing. I had no one. Then one day, things changed. In the worst possible way. I was walking down an alleyway, when some kids decided they'd have a go at me. That was the day that my peculiarity of shape shifting first appeared. Something came over me, and a wave of my blue skin started flipping over. I thought they were trying to rip off my skin. It hurt the first time I shape shifted, a burning flash of all the bruises, cuts, broken bones, hits, pain that the children had ever caused me. I transformed into a mountain lion. And ripped them to shreds by nothing but pure, wild instinct. Pure, wild fear. Pure, wild pain."

Enoch looks at me, my sadness mirrored in his eyes. He must feel the same way about accidentally killing Sophie, the girl who walked out of their loop and aged because of him. "I didn't mean to kill those kids, even though the little shits deserved it. I can, to this day, still feel their blood on my blue skin after I shape shifted into my real self again. I felt like a monster. I still do. I was nine years old at the time. I didn't know what I was doing. But, I somehow did it. I am a monster."

"You're not. It was an accident." Enoch tells me.

"But nice people don't kill people." I point out.

"Nice people make mistakes though." Enoch counters.

"Yeah, like my parents. They should've used a condom."

"Hey. Don't say that. You're not a monster, a freak or anything else. You are beautiful. When I first saw you, I thought about how you were the most gorgeous creature God could make. Even before I knew this is what you really looked like, I thought that this girl with the blue skin was beautiful. A rarity that could compare to nothing. Someone so special, so unique. And that person is you. So you should be proud of who you are. Because you are beautiful in every way possible."

I thought I loved Enoch. But the feelings we have for each other are so strong that not even words can decipher what this beautiful gift of our love is.

Not even the kiss that follows contains the passion we share with each other.

____________________________________________________________

Hear that everyone? You are beautiful in every way possible. You all need to remember this. It's very important. Even when no one seems to care about you, even when all you can see is hate, even when you look in the mirror and curse your own reflection, just remember: You are beautiful in every way possible. You are capable of anything. Impossible isn't in your vocabulary. You can be whoever you want to be. Don't let others shape you. You be you, because that's who you are. I need to keep telling myself that, because we all have bad days, but we can't let them win. "You are a human with one life and it's up to you to make it the best life you can." (Dan Howell.) So go out there and keep your head up high, walk with purpose and knock 'em all dead with your smile.

Because you can do it.

Don't ever forget that.

Love all you guys xoxo!!

~Tamika