Arms||Cake AU||

Chapter 24

Calum barely spoke the next morning while he and Michael got ready for school. The only words he spoke were to ask to borrow a pair of socks and deodorant. He also didn't speak on the way to school, not even tapping along to his favourite song which Michael played specifically for him.

He sat in the back of his Maths class first period with a frown, looking down at his desk with headphones in. If he hadn't promised his mum he'd come into school, he wouldn't have shown up. His mental state couldn't handle school at that point in time. He had bigger problems: himself.

Luke walked into Maths, carrying his bright blue folder with a slight limp and a small but forced smiled on his face. He spotted Calum at the back and a genuine smile spread across his face. He sat down in his seat near the front and waited for Calum to look up.

"What you staring at Lukey?" Jake teased as he walked in, ruffling Luke's hair. "Scoping out potential boyfriends?" Luke looked down at his hands as everyone turned there attention to him, except Calum.

"You can't even get yourself friends Hemmings, never mind a boyfriend." Jake continued, smirking at him. "Remember to take baby steps Lucas."

Luke looked around the class helplessly, opening and closing his mouth stupidly as he tried to think of a retort. His gaze stopped on Calum, who still hadn't looked up. Jake followed his gaze and his smirk widened, turning his attention to Calum.

"And you Hood, I'm surprised you haven't rushed to his defence this morning. Are you tired of playing bodyguard to such a pathetic little faggot?!"He placed his hand on Calum shoulder to get his attention when he didn't respond and was immediately pressed against the back wall before he knew what was happening.

"Don't touch me." He growled, glaring at Jake furiously. "And never EVER speak about Luke or anyone else for that matter like that ever again."

"What are you going to do if I do Hood? Kill me?"

Calum loosened his grip on Jake, stepping away with wide eyes. His face had drained of all colour, leaving him pale, his breathing shaky.

"I-I..." He mumbled, stumbling backwards. The class watched on confused as he grabbed his bag from under his chair, tripped over his own feet and ran out of the room. Jake watched him leave with a smug smile, earning a subtle glare from Luke as he readjusted his hoodie.
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Michael eventually found Calum sitting under the tree at the edge of the grounds halfway through break, after realising he was missing during their second period class which they shared.

"I've been looking all over for you buddy." He exclaimed as he threw himself down next to his best friend. "What's wrong?"

Calum shrugged, hugging his knees to his chest. Michael frowned.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Michael asked cautiously, monitoring his facial expressions. Calum rolled his eyes and turned his head away.

"If I wanted to talk about it, I would have said something by now." Calum replied. Michael nodded and leaned back against the tree trunk, taking in the scenery around him (a couple of trees, blue skies and hundreds of school kids).

"Why is it that the best people die Mikey?"

"Hmm?"

"Why do all of the good people have to die?" Calum repeated, turning to face Michael.

"I would say that you pick the most beautiful flowers in a garden but we both think that's bullshit. I think it's because the world is a shitty place, where shitty things happen to nice people. Do we deserve it? No. Do we become stronger because of it? Sort of."

Calum leaned back against the trunk of the tree so he was copying Michael and looked up at the branches above him.

"Do you miss your Dad Michael? He asked so quietly it was almost a whisper. Michael hesitated before answering, biting the inside of his cheek thoughtfully.

"Of course I do. I miss him everyday. I miss having him in the house, sleeping on the couch in front of the TV after dinner. I miss the way his smile used to always end up lopsided when he laughed. I even miss the coughing. It drove me nuts, but it was a reminder that he was still there." Michael replied gently, also looking up at the branches through eyes blurred with tears. "I'll always miss him, nothing will ever fill the space he left."

"Carmen was so young." Calum said in a tear strained voice. "So small, so innocent. She hadn't had time to do anything to deserve it. Did you know she used to scold Mali and I for shouting at each other? She even scolded mum once. Everyone always told me that little sisters were annoying but I couldn't disagree more. Carmen was my world Michael, my whole world...and she's gone."

"Is that why you visit the graveyard so often?"

"I keep thinking, maybe - if I talk to her enough, I'll feel better. It'll be like she isn't gone, she didn't die and the hole in my heart will heal." Calum's voice is so weak and quiet that Michael has to lean closer to hear him. "That maybe she'll pop out from behind a headstone and laugh, telling me it was a joke all along."

"I sorry to be a killjoy Calum, but that's never going to happen."

"I know." Calum replied with tears rolling down his cheeks. "But I can pretend for a little bit, can't I?

"Not if pretending keeps you out in a graveyard until 2 in the morning during winter Calum." Michael tells him, smiling sympathetically.

"I didn't mean to stay for so long but I felt so sad and sitting there with her makes me feel better. I know she can't see or hear me, but I feel better about myself if I go and apologise every so often, just to make sure that I get the chance to see her again when I die."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, if heaven does exist, I'm assuming she's up there and I don't want to end up in hell and not see her. I just want to see her one last time, even if it's just for a little while. Is that too much to ask?"

Calum was unable to hold back the wave of tears that had formed in his eyes and broke down into a sob, leaning his head on Michael's shoulder. Michael wrapped his arm around his best friend and rubbed his arm comfortingly.

"It's okay Calum. Let it all out."