Arms||Cake AU||

Chapter 28

Calum found it difficult to fall asleep that night. Rescuing Michael had pushed his sadness to the back of his mind, but as the adrenaline left his body, it began to creep back to the front. He hadn't intended for Luke to find out about Carmen. He didn't want Luke to pity him.

He should have kept control of his emotions. He should have tried harder to hold back the tears. He should have been able to, but when Luke placed his hand on his shoulder his resistance broke. Everything - the anger, the sadness and the guilt - he'd bottled up cascaded down his face in a wave of salty tears. Luke didn't need that. He was dealing with his own issues that had lead him to the other side of town.

"Calum?" Luke's voice pulled Calum out of his thoughts. "Are you still awake?"

"Yeah. Why?" Calum whispered back.

"I just- I wanted to thank you for dragging me off of the street. I don't think I would have made it out of there unharmed if you hadn't, so thanks."

"No problem Blondie,"Calum mumbled into his pillow in reply. An eerie silence settled between them, the only noise coming from Luke shifting in the makeshift bed on the floor.

"Are you comfy enough down there?" Calum wondered, watching Luke's outline move the pillows around.

"Yeah. I just take a while to get settled down to sleep, that's all," Luke replied.

"I can relate to that," Calum muttered, casting his mind back to the many nights he'd stared at his ceiling for hours with heavy eyelids.

"Luke?" Calum whispered after another short silence. "Why were you wandering the streets at this side of town?"

"Am I not allowed to?"

"It's not illegal no, it's just not something I'd expect you to do. You don't seem like the type of person who walks almost a mile for fun." Luke sighed and sat up, wrapping the spare duvet around himself as he did.

"I didn't mean to end up down here," He began, looking everywhere in the dark room except at Calum. "I wasn't really focusing on where I was going, I just wanted to get away from my house."

"Why?" Calum's voice was uncharacteristically gentle. It caught Luke off guard. He didn't want to drag Calum into his problems yet again but he knew that somehow it would happen anyway.

"I guess I had a fight with my Dad. I'm not sure if it counts as a fight if I was the only one shouting but-" Luke cut himself off before he rambled anymore and took a deep breath. "I was in a bit of a mood during dinner because Ashton, my best friend, left for Uni this morning. Dad- he wasn't happy that I was so upset about it because "I can make new ones". But I can't because I tried to make friends - with you and he-"

"-hated me," Calum added, trying to hide the hurt in his voice. Luke nodded, biting his lip shyly.

"I'm just fed up of feeling like I'm not good enough for him. I can't do anything right. He wants me to be more like my brothers, more like him even. He thinks I'm soft."

"There is nothing wrong with being soft," Calum told him quietly. "You care deeply about things, it's obvious that's true, and you're willing to help people when they need it. I can't see how that's a bad thing."

"I wish my Dad would realise that. It was alright for him when he was younger, everyone loved him. He had loads of friends, he always goes on and on about it. Nobody likes me, apart from Ashton and he's off to Uni. I'm too awkward and Jake's made sure no one tries to talk to me."

"That's not true," Calum argued. Luke frowned at him through the darkness. "I like you."

Luke was glad that Calum couldn't see his face as a blush rose in his cheeks. He bit his lip again in an attempt to contain the wide smile that was spreading across his face. 

"Well, you'd be the only one."

"Maybe I am, but one person is better than nobody, right?" Calum replied, "I've always said I'd rather have one friend that really cares than many that don't."

"Y-you care about me?" Luke stuttered, feeling his cheeks heating up again.

"Do you really think you'd be sitting there if I didn't? I wouldn't have even stopped you from walking through the dangerous part of town," Calum admitted, staring down at his hands. "I either care a lot or not at all and you've grown on me Blondie."

"Well damn," Luke whispered, grinning from ear to ear, "I don't know what to say."

"A goodnight would do," Calum told him with a small smile. Luke smiled back, unnoticed by Calum in the dark and lay down, throwing the duvet over himself.

"Goodnight Calum."

"Night Luke."

Calum settled down to sleep himself, feeling for the first time in a long time, he wouldn't have a nightmare. Of course, his mind wasn't going to allow that to last.

"So you care about Luke more than you cared about Carmen?" Mali's voice hissed accusingly. "This boy means more to you than your own sister."

Calum rolled his eyes. There wasn't much left that he was sure about, but he was sure that he cared about Carmen. Mali could convince him that he was a murderer, that everything was his fault but she could not convince him that he did not care about his little sister. Calum would never stop caring about his late sister, not until the day he died too.