Last Flight Home [completed]

✈ xvii.

[ FLASHBACK ]

"I just wish you would come home for the holidays," He starts, his voice muffled from the phone line. In the background, I could hear the usual fire station noise that came with trying to talk to my brother on the phone. "I know mom and dad miss you, and I do too."

"I can't come home," I say, my voice growing defensive.

"I'll pay for the flight round-trip. It would be nice to have you home for the holidays."

"I have plans."

"No you don't," Andy starts. "You're just saying that. I know you."

"I wish you would just let me be. I get that you have your life figured out and everything , but I'm still trying to figure things out for myself. I wish you would just accept that and leave me alone."

"I wish you would just throw your pride out the window and come spend a holiday at home for the first time in two years. It's not fair."

"Why?" I spat, anger rushing through my veins. "So you can show mom and dad how much of the perfect child you are compared to me? Would that make you happy?"

"My life isn't perfect."

"Yes, it is."

"-I'm not having this fight with you right now," He starts, but the phone becomes a little static, so I can tell that he's pulled the phone away from his ear.

"We just got a call for a fully involved house fire. I gotta go, but I'll talk to you later, okay?"

"Whatever," I reply with an eye roll and a loud sigh.

"I love you, Nathan."

There's a small lag of phone silence as he waits for me to say it back, but I hang the phone up and throw my cellphone across the room.

[ LOCAL TIME 14:21 ]

"-Are you okay?" Sabrina questions, breaking me away from my thoughts.

"Yeah," I mumble, feeling a rush of sadness wash over me when I finally re-realize that the moment I just lived was actually real.

"What's on your mind?"

I shake my head. "It's complicated."

She rolls her eyes. "I spent two hours trapped in an elevator with you," She starts. "I like complicated, nevertheless."

"Have you ever been stuck on something you know you can never change?"

She frowns, but shakes her head. "I think that everything happens for a reason, and sometimes, even though the reason is complete crap, that has to be enough."

"But what if you want to change it?"

"You don't."

"But what if you really want to. Like, what if you would give anything to make things right?"

"Then fix it."

"But what if you can't?"

"Then you can't."

My eyes narrow at Sabrina, slightly frustrated with the direction of this conversation. "What if it wouldn't change anything, but it would make you feel better?"

"Can I give you a little advice?" Sabrina questions, looking right through me as if I was a ghost.

"Anything."

"Nothing grows unless it's fed," She starts. "You decide how much it hurts you by feeding whatever it is that is bothering you. The more you think about it, the more you allow it to consume your being. I'm not saying to ignore it completely, but cut it at the source. Face it. Feel it. Fear it - it doesn't matter. Just don't run from it."

[- ✈ -]