Another Forever (Completed) [Wattys 2018]

6

So when writing this chapter, a song came on Pandora that I felt fit this chapter well. Check it out, I have always loved this song. If you can't see the video attached,  it is called
"Breathe" by Melissa Etheridge

<3 <3 <3 <3

I stare at myself in the mirror like I am a stranger. Nothing has changed. I still have the same blonde hair that I pulled into a bun for today. I have the same hazel eyes, red rimmed from all the tears. Yet, I feel like I am different.

The white summer dress flows nicely down to my knees, the white flats completing the outfit. We don't wear black to funerals. Actually, we don't even call them funerals, we call the service a release.

A soft knock on my door pulls my attention away from the mirror and towards Jake who poked his head in. His white pants and button down shirt only make the red eyes more noticeable on him. Tears are quick to spill out of my eyes at the sight of him, but he is quick to pull me into his arms.

"I'm so sorry, this is all my fault." he mumbles into my hair, his voice breaking a little.

I pull away and drip his face in my hands. My thumbs wiping the tears that fall. I try to search my mind for words but nothing comes to me. So instead I shake my head back and forth.

"You don't even know what happened out there, Hailey! it's all my fault that Cade is gone!" He pulls away and runs his hands through his hair, tugging on it in frustration.

"So tell me what happened, because I refuse to believe that any of this is your fault." my voice barely above a whisper.

Jake looks at me and I no longer see the same sixteen year old looking back. Instead a frightened and heart broken child stares back at me. I hate to see my brother this way. Everything about this is so messed up. I don't even want to hear what happened, but I know that Jake is not to blame and until he tells me, he will always believe he is.

"There were so many rogues when we got there. It was pure chaos and we all just jumped in where we could. Some rogues ran away scared and others stayed until the end. We turned around to head back, when one more appeared from the trees." His voice broke and fresh tears spilled from his eyes as he relived what happened.

"Cade jumped in and took the bite that was aimed for me. I didn't even see the rogue before Cade got there! The coward ran. I will never forget that fucking smirk! Had I payed more attention, noticed that there was one more.." hid voice broke as he crumpled into my arms.

Silent tears stained my face as Jake sobbed into my arms. I stroked his hair gently, trying to calm him. He held me while I cried, the least I can do it hold him while he cries.

"It's not your fault." I whispered over and over.

He shook his head no but remained quiet. The truth is it isn't his fault. Everyone thought they were all gone. Cade is a hero and looked at Jake like a little brother. He died protecting his loved ones and I am sure that he would do it again if he had to. That's just the guy Cade was.

My wolf whimpered and a sorrowful howl filled my head before she retreated to the back of my mind.

"What kind of Alpha will I be if I didn't even know there was one left?" he mumbled.

"A great one because you will learn from this and be better next time." I pulled his head off my shoulders and stared him straight in the eyes.

"We don't want to be late to the release." I stood on my tip toes to kiss his forehead.

The walk to the clearing was, unfortunately, beautiful. Why can't things be grey and gloomy when I am sad? Why does it have to be beautiful like it is mocking my heartache?

We get to the clearing right as the sun is setting and the moon is rising in the sky. The clearing is filled with the pack mostly in wolf form. It is customary for the Alpha and mourning families to be in human form to oversee the release.

My eyes immediately lock on Alex, holding his weeping mother, as Mason carries a crying Hannah in his arms. I want so badly to go hug them but I know that they need their family time and I don't want to impose.

Still the sight sends another shatter to my already fragile heart and I have to look away. Instead I focus on Jake and some warriors as they light a fire. The fire glows through the dark clearing, creating dancing shadows among the trees.

As a child, the shadows use to scare me. I used to cling tightly to my dad's leg until he told me what the shadow were. He said they were the spirits of wolves who'd passed, coming to greet the released souls and take them to the Goddess.

"Evening everybody. I wish we were meeting tonight under different circumstances." My dad's alpha voice rang through the clearing and I'm pulled out of my thoughts.

I watch as he sweeps his eyes over the entire pack, taking in faces and gathering strength to continue. It is never easy to lose a wolf in the pack, especially under these circumstances.

"Four wolves loss their lives defending us against an attack. Although four seems like a small number, it has a huge impact on us. We lost brothers, fathers, mates and friends that can never be replaced nor forgotten. Tonight we release them to the Moon Goddess and ask that she give them peace." A tear rolled down my dad's cheek.

He didn't turn away or hide in embarrassment like most Alpha's might do. Instead he let his pack see that the loss hurt him and he is the strongest Alpha I know because of it.

He bowed his head slightly, signaling the release to begin. Three men approached the fire, carrying the body of their loved one, wrapped in a white sheet. One by one, they placed them on the fire, until only one was left.

I watched in silent heartbreak as Mason appeared, holding tightly to Cade as he approached the fire. I closed my eyes, unable to watch any longer and instead looked towards the sky to see the shimmering stars and bright moon watching us.

"Give him peace." I whispered as tears fell from my eyes.

With the last soul released, the wolves start to howl. One long and sorrowful howl for each soul we've sent to the Goddess.

<3 <3 <3 <3

I am crying!

I feel horrible for saying this, but as an author I hoped I touched your emotions a little with this too.

What did you think?

BTW, with the howl thing, It is kind of like a 21 gun salute, except with wolves. I could see it, but had a hard time describing it.

Thank you for reading.