This gained life because of one of my friends on wattpad. We were arguing over which OTC was better and I challenged her to fight me fan girl style :)
And so this book was born!
It'll be filled with one shots ranging from happy to sad, angry to de...
The dim glow of her phone shone through the darkness as she read Webtoons late at night. The playlist she was listening to switched songs as she finished a chapter of the Webtoon she was reading, Space Boy.
She realized she was getting a headache from the music, but she didn't want to turn it off. So, she stood up and got the pain medicine from the bathroom cabinet. Staring at herself in the mirror, pills in hand, she was suddenly filled with sadness. This wasn't a new occurrence, but it still struck her as powerfully as it always did. Turning away from her mirror image with a stab of regret, she went to the kitchen to get some water. When she sat down on the couch once more, she began to realize that the Webtoon she was reading had meaning. It wasn't something simple, but something deep that made her feel things she didn't want to feel.
Picking up her phone silently, she closed Webtoon and went to messages. She didn't have to even scroll to find who she wanted to text, he was always near the top of her messages, especially since they had a role-play that had been going on for months now. Trying to banish any misgivings, she began to type a message.
I know this seems sudden, but.. I love you, and I hate you. I love that you make me feel safe, but I hate you for breaking my walls. I love your laugh, the way your smile sparkles. I hate how you hide yourself from me, the way you disappear to your inner demons. I love having you as a friend, an ally in the never ending battle of school. I hate that you found me when I'm so close to leaving, how you broke my defense when I needed it most. I love the wonderful ideas you have, the whole worlds you build in your mind. I hate how I'll never been as good at you, how my worlds are in 2D while yours are so rich and 3D.
I hate you, I love you. I hate that I love you.
I know that's from a song... Another bit of proof that I'll never be as good as you. You could come up with a million original things to say, yet I have to rely on bits of the world I live in to express myself...
... I originally wanted to tell you how much I loved you, but then this happened...
I... I just want you to know
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
Her finger hovered over the send button, fighting between deleting the message and sending it. Worries and doubts began to crowd her mind, while she mentally battled for control of her own thoughts. She hit delete, regret burning beneath the surface.
She thought about the Webtoon that had caused all these feelings, and hated that she couldn't cry now when she needed to most. A simple page of the Webtoon had made her cry, but now not even a pinprick of moisture was present on her eyes.
She hated herself for it.
She, who'd cry over stupid things like being fussed at or the harsh words of her family, couldn't bring herself to cry when she knew she needed someway to release this feeling before it drowned her inside.
Inside her heart a battle raged. It was indescribable, yet at the same time she could image how it would look in an art form, that is if she could actually draw.
Curled up on the couch with her back to the TV, she glanced at her phone clock. 12:10am. Readjusting so she didn't fall asleep while writing, she rolled onto her stomach and continued writing.
There's a funny thing about writing she realized. Take this story for example. It began as a girl writing out her pain, but somehow ended with her frantically trying to make the story longer so she wouldn't disappointed her fans.
No.
She realized that she didn't want to disappoint herself. She knew that she was lying when she said she only cared about her fans.
Her eyes shifting out of focus, the screen in front of her began to blur as she began to dream.
Now this girl had a choice, she could tell what she had actually though about, or she could tell of what she wished she had though of.
She dreamed of pain, of love, of loss. She dreamed of leaving it all behind, of letting go of the hand that kept her anchored to this world. She dreamed of the future, of who she was meant to be. She dreamed of who she truly was, even if noone saw it. She dreamed of losing it all.
She dreamed of nothing, of things that had no worth. She dreamed of the nothing that crushed all creativity, of the black void that stole her soul. She dreamed of telling the truth. She dreamed of being free. She dreamed of finally breaking her bonds.
She dreamed of songs beating in her ears, of the pain of her arms as she propped herself up upon them. She dreamed of a soft melody, broken up with regret. She dreamed of different realities. She dreamed of the life she wanted.
Choose wisely reader. 3 realities, 3 ways. Some false, some true. _______________________________________
Hey guys, Cassia here. I know this seems all over the place, but I needed to write it for myself. Its a message for him , even though I now understand he'll understand. I meant for this to be left unknown, but it's not possible for me to keep it all to myself.
