what the future holds

#11

"Where have you been, Maya? I haven't seen you in ages." Paisley complained, although 'ages' actually equaled two days because I had seen Paisley on Saturday. I laughed a little and slid on my apron, ready to work.

I walked over to a group of teenage boys, football players judging by the sweat and tshirts. Pulling out my notepad, I asked them what they wanted.

"How about your number, cutie?" A blonde said, his jock buddies guffawed. I looked up from my notepad and rolled my eyes.

"That's not on the menu, as I recall. Anything else?" I turned him down smoothly, internally I was giving myself a high five. The jocks 'ooo'd at their fellow teammate, who didn't seem embarrassed. He decided to drop it, and I silently thanked him. Then they all gave me their meaty orders and I walked back to the kitchen.

After I had shouted the orders to Cecilia, Jordan and Paisley both cornered me.

"We know you're not feeling yourself, Maya. Tell us what's wrong." Jordan urged me. I sighed, it was harder than they thought. To tell the truth, I didn't exactly know what was bothering me. Maybe the fact that my previous best friend yelled at me and told me she hated me. Or maybe that the decision between Josh and Lucas was harder than it should have been. It could also be the fact that I hadn't gotten a good night's rest in almost two weeks. I didn't tell them any of those truths, though. It was easier to tell a little white lie.

"I just miss Josh, that's all." I sigh, leaning against the back door. Jordan looked convinced, but Paisley was skeptical. Thankfully, she didn't protest and we all went back to work until our shifts were over.

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As I walked home, the sun was starting to set behind the city skyline. It was so beautiful, the bright orange and pinks glowing from behind the black silhouettes of the buildings. The sun was gold as it sank further behind the buildings and I couldn't help but stop. These are the moments that artists like me live for. We witness these moments, capture them in our minds, and when the opportunity arrises, we recreate these beautiful memories onto a canvas. I still remember the sunsets back in NYC, how many more skyscrapers there were. New York City has so many artificial and man-made things, but whenever the sun sets, the beauty is so pure and natural that it just makes you stop and stare. It was one of the few things I miss about that city.

"Hey, Maya!" Paisley was running to catch up with me, but truly, she could have taken an hour and I wouldn't have moved. I was held captive by the beauty. "I know you said you were ok, but I just have a feeling that it's more than missing your boyfriend. Correct me if I'm wrong, but are you seriously doing alright?" she asked me. I know that Paisley sometimes comes off as careless or ditsy, but when she wants to be, she's a truly amazing friend. Sure she sleeps with half the guys in Albany, but she's a genuine friend, and my life wouldn't be the same without her. I smile at her a little sadly, finally taking my eyes off of the horizon.

"To be honest, Pay..." I started. If I was going to tell her, it was going to be the whole truth. Every last thing about Lucas, Riley, Farkle, Josh, just everything.

Paisley is my best friend, I told myself. She can handle this.

"No. I'm not ok." My eyes started to tear up, and Paisley hugged me tightly. She stroked my hair and made me feel safe. For the first time in a very long time, I allowed myself to be vulnerable. I haven't cried in front of anyone in years, I never had the reason to. My life had been perfectly put together up until now. When I cried in front of Lucas, he hadn't known, he hadn't seen me. But Paisley was, and I was okay with that.

"You know that guy you slept with a week ago? Lucas Friar?" She nodded and from there I told her the whole story. Every last detail, I didn't leave anything out. After I was finally finished, it felt like a huge weight had been lifted from my chest. For a few moments, Paisley was silent, evaluating the situation. Then, finally, she spoke.

"Do you think you're falling for him?" She asked. It was a question I had been trying to avoid, but I knew I had to answer it.

"I don't know, Paisley. He's so different now. He smokes and threatens and drinks." I stopped, considering my next words carefully. "But he's also the same guy I knew in middle school. He cares about my safety, he respects me, and he loves me. When he kissed me yesterday, I felt a spark. And I've never felt more guilty. Lucas has always brought out my darkest side because he was so good. Whenever I was around him, I just wanted to smudge his perfection a little. Pour a smoothie on his head." I smiled a little, remembering our awkward first date. "And we have history, I can't deny that. We've had a connection since the first day I met him on the subway. I looked back at him and our eyes connected for longer than a couple of strangers's eyes should have. Every moment after that I thought about him, wanted him..." I trailed off as Paisley watched me. By now the sun had set and stars were starting to poke out.

"Do you still want him?" Paisley asked me. There it was. The question that would change everything. If I said yes, I would have to break up with Josh and destroy a perfect, normal relationship. If I said no, Lucas and Riley and Farkle would return to their lives in NYC and forget about me for the rest of their lives. I couldn't decide which was worse. "And Josh? Isn't he coming home today?"

oh my gosh

My eyes went wide as I remembered that Lucas was probably still at my house. Likely standing in the same room as my boyfriend, both bursting with testosterone and questions. I had to go, now.

So I started to run.

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uh oh spaghetti-o

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♡ kylie