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"oh, my jimin. your face," my mother exclaimed once i entered the house.

"i'm fine mom. i'm going upstairs," i said instantly entering the house and walked upstairs and into my room.

throwing my backpack on the floor, i went over to the bathroom connected to my room shutting the door behind me.

useless, pathetic, worthless, fat, ugly.

i sat on the edge of my bed with some random pills i found in my mom's bathroom in my hand. i looked at the screen of my phone to check the time.

4:50pm.

just do it. you'll be doing yourself a favor.

i looked down at my hand and without thinking, i swallowed them down with a gulp of water. so i laid in bed and closed my eyes, hoping death would come.

– – –

i woke up. my eyes met the ceiling. sighing softly, i laid like that for a few minutes.

it didn't work. i'm not dead.

slowly, i sat myself up when suddenly i saw a girl sitting in the chair by my desk. she wore a white dress and she had long black hair.

"w-who are you?" i stuttered.

she eyed me. "why did you take it?"

"what? take what?"

slowly, she rose her hand up pointing directly towards my desk. i turned to see where she pointed and see the bottle of pills there. a bit nervous, i turned back to the girl who looked at me.

"wait. so... it worked??"
"were you trying to kill yourself?"

i eyed her but moved back against the wall.

"a-are you a ghost?" i asked her.

she crossed her arms. "what if i am?"

"so does this mean... i'm really dead?" i asked suddenly.

she was silent at that moment but then stood up to her feet.

"you're not dead."
"lies."
"you're dreaming."

i looked at her astounded. "no... i'm dead. there's no way i'm dreaming. you're a ghost!"

"jimin stop."
"how do you know my name?"
"because you allowed me to know your name. i'm only made up... by you."

there was silence between us. there's no way i'm dreaming. it's not possible. i'm finally dead, like how i wanted to be.

"my name is jaeeun," she suddenly said.

jaeeun.

"you took those pills to kill yourself, didn't you? are you crazy?"
"maybe. or maybe i just really wanted to die."

"you're the one who's crazy. do you realize how much it would hurt your mother? you should be ashamed of yourself," she scolded me.

"okay, no offense, but who are you to tell me what to do and what not to do," i told her.

"fine. be mean like that," she said shaking her head. suddenly, she disappeared just liket hat, out of thin air.

this is crazy.

i stood up to my feet quickly looking around just in case she appeared out of nowhere, but she was nowhere in sight. that was until something had hit my head.

"ow!" i winced holding the back of my head. i snapped my head around to see the same girl with a book in her hand.

"you hit me!" i told her.

"yeah, i pretty much did. serves you right."

i pouted slightly and rubbed at the spot she had hit at.

"you're mom is coming," she suddenly whispered. but before i could speak, there was a knock on my door and instantly, the girl disappeared. i looked around a bit scared when the door opened up and my mother appeared.

"jimin, are you okay? my gosh, look at your face!" she said seriously. she slowly reached forward her hand to my face when i turned my head away.

"i'm fine mom," i told her.

"no, you're not fine! look at you. who's doing this to you? tell me!"

"i... can't," i said softly as i sat down on the edge of my bed.

"jimin... talk to me. i know... that we haven't been living like the way we wanted, but i want you to know that you can always tell me, your mother," she softly began to say. her voice broke a little towards the end.

"please don't cry."

she sniffled a bit before nodding her head. "i just want you safe."

"i know. don't worry about me, i'm okay," i said giving her a small smile.

she suddenly pulled me close to her and embrassed me into her arms. finally, she pulled away and stood up to her feet as she walked towards the door.

"i made some spaghetti. come down and eat."
"i will mom. thanks."

she smiled as i smiled back. then, she was gone.

"your mother really loves you," a voice suddenly said making me jump slightly.

"because you were wondering where i was," she smiled.

"no, i wasn't," i told her.

"yes, you were," she smiled. "better hurry. your food's waiting for you."

how in the world did i deserve this?

~~~~
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