If I Die Young

15. Party

The moment I stepped through the threshold I saw writhing bodies and the music was absolutely deafening. It smelled like sex and drugs and alcohol and I couldn't get enough of it. I followed Lenny into the kitchen and found people scooping fruit and cherry vodka out of a cooler on the counter and I couldn't help myself; I snagged one of the red cups and dunked it into the drink, letting Lenny pour soda into the mix before tapping his cup against mine and taking a drink. I held my breath and let the liquor slip down my throat, the bubbly fruit cocktail masking the taste of the alcohol almost completely. I pulled one of the watermelon chunks out and ate it, feeling like I could've breathed fire after that.

The music plus the alcohol made me feel like I was on a completely different planet, my body gripped by the wild beats of my heart and the music around it. A few people recognized me and I found myself inside a group of women five years older than me and twice as drunk. We danced in the living room and sang until our throats were sore, and I still kept singing. This was wild and exhilarating compared to what I'd known before. People put their hands on my hips and gripped my waist and I danced with them until the next person came along. A woman with curling black hair seemed a little more interested in me than the rest of them and I blew her a kiss, watching as she caught it and winked.

After maybe an hour and a half things were still going strong and I found myself taking a much needed break on the staircase. My head was spinning and I was dizzy, but my smile was drunk and sloppy and I was happy. Lenny made his way over to me and I caught his attention by shooting my hand up in the air and waving, watching him grin and wiggle through the crowd to join me.

"How are you feeling Miss Popular?" He teased, handing me a bottle of water that I took gratefully.

"I'm on top of the world." I told him after I chugged half the bottle. "Everyone here is so loose and happy, there's no rules and there's no proper conduct. The boys are pressed up against me and the girls are even more handsy than they are." I smiled again. "I love it."

"Everyone loves you. Just don't let any of them think they can take you to bed, you're still only fifteen." He scolded me gently, and I deflated slightly.

"Yeah, you're right. I forget about that a lot." I huffed. "I guess no one regarded my age back in New York. I was just another face at the party."

"Yeah, people tend to forget those details in scenes like that." He nodded. "I used to be caught up in a big music crowd. Met every famous rapper along the east coast twice, and they never remembered my name. I was only sixteen and they were handing me coke and molly left and right."

"How'd you get out of it?" I asked curiously.

"I just stopped showin' up." Lenny shrugged. "No one cared, I had a couple people ask where I went off to but they didn't stick around for long. I'm glad I didn't have to get stuck with them."

"Well I'm glad, too." I smiled groggily. "I s'pose it's good I'm not in New York anymore. Shitty crowds harbor even more terrible people."

"You've got a good head on your shoulders, girl. You keep doin' you." He grinned. "I'm going to go find the beast, don't get into too much trouble, y'hear me?"

"I hear you." I chuckled, watching him as he walked back into the crowd.

After finishing my water bottle I got back up and waltzed into the crowd, getting swept back into the grinding and the beats. I was handed another cup of booze and I bit down on the watermelon, my mouth aflame with the taste of pure addiction. I was in love with the music and infatuated by the alcohol, leaving me on the verge of losing control of my conscious mind and yet still being aware of my surroundings. A man approached me, his hands gripping my hips sweetly as we danced. In my haze I couldn't exactly hear what he said, but I was faintly aware of being dragged away from the dance floor and down a hall. I caught a whiff of marijuana coming from one of the rooms, but I wasn't sure which one it was, and I wasn't sure where we were going. Just as he'd pushed on one of the doors a figure emerged from the darkness, one with blazing eyes and a gruff edge to his voice. He got up in the man's face and I was sure a fight was about to break out when the man suddenly walked off and Ladon turned towards me.

"Are you insane?" He scolded me, his voice as sharp and clear as it ever was.

"I...I don't..." My voice trailed off, a slur apparent at the end of my string of nonsense. "Thank you."

"You're way too drunk for someone your age to be." He sighed gently, looking around as if he was trying to find someone. "I think it's time to get Lenny and go-"

"I don't want...please stay." I huffed out, feeling heavy and shaky. He paused in his steps when my hand snatched his and I was gripping it tightly. I felt a pit in the bottom of my stomach that reminded me of something dark. The lights flickered. "Stay."

"Okay, okay, I'll stay." Ladon said gently, wrapping an arm around my shoulders to steady me. The moment I tried to take a step forward I stumbled and fell, Ladon's arms wrapping around me and inevitably taking him down with me.

I'm not sure what I saw in my darkened haze, but staring at his eyes stirred something I hadn't felt in a very long time. It might have just been the alcohol, it might've been something else, but when he tried to get up I latched onto his jacket and pulled him back down to kiss me. His lips were rough and warm, tasting like weed and brownies. The memory of the bowl I'd snuck into his room resurfaced and I smiled, only for him to kiss me again, suddenly hungry and wanting. We pulled apart only when someone familiar butted into the moment.

"Ladon you sneaky devil, let the poor girl up for air!"

I cackled as Lenny kicked Ladon over, leaving him to tumble to the ground beside me. I was still laughing when Lenny helped me to my feet, my lavender lipstick smeared on both mine and Ladon's lips.

"I think it's time for us to skedaddle," Lenny snickered, "I may or may not have pissed off the host, and you two need to get a room."

"LENNY!"

"That be our cue." He pushed us both into the room ahead, a man rounding the corner down the hall.

We all leapt out of the window, landing on our feet and taking off across the cul-de-sac. Everyone was laughing like maniacs while we peeled down the street, taking off towards the end of the state we knew too well. The music was cranked so high the car was vibrating with the beat and I was so caught up in the sound of it I lost track of time. It seemed as if we were on the highway one moment and pulling up to the front gates of the house within minutes. I was stumbling as I stepped out of the car and I had to hang onto Ladon's arm just to stay upright. We waved to Lenny and he sped off, leaving us to amble back up the driveway and sneak around to the back door. I had to bite my tongue to keep from giggling and I slid my grass covered boots off before walking towards the stairs.

"That was...something else." I whispered, my voice bubbly and full of an emotion I couldn't name. Suddenly I was pushed against the railing of the stairs, hands on my waist lifting me up and setting me down. Ladon kissed me hard and there was no hesitation in his movements. My hands tangled in his hair and gripped his coat, making it so that if I fell, he'd fall with me.

"We should-" he laughed against my lips, "we should be going to bed. We have school in the morning."

"Fuck." I hissed, letting him pull me back onto solid ground. "You're right."

"Go to bed." He caught my jaw in his fingers. "We'll talk about this in the morning."

"Okay." I nodded, smiling at him before turning down the hall, scampering into my own room and stripping down to my undies. I barely had the energy to take my makeup off before I collapsed into my bed, burying myself in the blankets and making a burrow of sheets. I was warm and I was delirious, but I felt happy. Was this what normal is like?