If I Die Young

16. Dodgy

It was sunny when I woke up the next morning. The lyrics to a song burst into my head and I threw my phone across the room to lighten my pounding headache. It shut off after a few minutes and I finally found the strength to pull myself out of my bedsheets, buried beneath the taste of bile and alcohol. I took a deep breath and pushed myself upwards, swinging my legs over the edge and stretching as I stood. I felt incredibly cold, almost as if it was winter again. Staring at myself in the mirror I could see my lips were a faint shade of purple, most likely leftover lipstick from the night before. I just put more on.

Today's outfit was a simple gray sweater with jeans and my blue heels. I didn't feel like dressing up but I still did my makeup, just enough to look like I hadn't been out until the wee hours of the morning partying. I smiled at myself, pausing to remember the feel of Ladon's lips against mine. He certainly wasn't my first kiss, but it was one of my more sentimental ones. It was something about his eyes, the pure fire that raged within them. It was raw and primal, absolutely instinctual and incredibly exhilarating.

I walked out to find that I wasn't the first one awake, and instead saw James sitting in the hallway, reading a book to himself quietly. I smiled and waved at him, and he waved back, his smile plumping his already rounded cheeks further. A figure emerged from down the hall and I saw Elyse coming towards me, a groggy smile on her face. She joined me as I walked down the steps and while we sat at the table for breakfast I braided her hair. I was in love with her bushy curls and the way they laced together.

"You're in an awful good mood today," she said quietly, "did you sleep well?"

"I did, actually." I took note of the fact I hadn't had any nightmares that night and smiled even more.

It wasn't long until we'd finished our French toast and were sent off to finish getting ready. I grabbed my backpack and sauntered down the steps, finding a tired but seemingly happy Ladon waiting at the bottom. He was already raring to go it seemed, I could tell just by the way he was slumped against the wall and looking around through half lidded eyes. When they met mine he seemed to perk up slightly, but there was a flash of something he seemed nervous about.

"You doing alright?" I asked teasingly.

"Yeah, just a little exhausted." He chuckled. "Look, uh...can we talk about what happened?"

"Sure." I shrugged, a contented smile on my face.

"I like you Sable, I really do. You're definitely a lot more of a personality than anyone else I've met around here." He told me. "I'm not looking for anything though, I don't know what you think last night was but I don't want to take it any further than that."

"Oh, that's perfectly fine." I grinned, the look in his eyes replaced by something else. He seemed stricken, as if he'd been expecting me to beg him for a chance to be something more. "I don't do relationships."

"Really? You're not upset about it?" Ladon's eyebrow arched quizzically, and it was all I could do not to laugh.

"God no. You're a nice guy Ladon, and I enjoyed the hell out of that kiss, but like you said before I'm pretty dodgy about the subject of dating. I don't want to do it."

"Is there any particular reason?"

"No," I lied, "it's just not something I want to get involved in."

"Well...I'll admit, that's a weight off of my shoulders." He laughed. "I'm glad you're not one to cause a scene."

"Never have been." I told him, just as we were being joined by everyone else.

"Ladon, you look beat, what happened bud?" Iden joked as he came down the steps. "Wrestle with your demons and lose again?"

"Har-har." Ladon said flatly. Elyse hissed and jabbed her elbow into Iden's ribs, earning her a puzzled stare.