A Certain Sort Of Loneliness

Static

Sneaking in had become normal now, Emil noted, fingers quietly fumbling with his keys as he unlocked the front door, noiselessly entering the house and closing the door behind him once more. The corridor was dark, as was to be expected - it was late and everyone was asleep - or should be, at least.

Hurrying to get to his room, Emil crept up the stairs, wary of each painfully loud creak the old wood steps made as he made his way to-
Light. Emil froze, eyes fixating on the golden tones of light that spilt on to the carpet through the crack under Mathias' door. Anxiety began to bubble in his stomach, uncertainty swirling in his chest as he tried to swallow his fears away - this had happened before, it was fine. As long as he was quiet he would get past the door and in to his room where he would be safe, right?

Taking a deep breath, Emil took a step forward, then another, then ano- the floorboards groaned under his weight, sirens beginning to scream and wail in his head as the door was flung open, Mathias stumbling out wide eyed and concerned,

"Emil-" he breathed, relief washing over him as he took the boy in to his arms, feeling Emil stiffen as Mathias pulled him closer, breath hitching, arms frozen by his sides, 'Your shoes were gone and- I was so worried- its so late I thought...I thought you might not come back..oh my god Emil thank god you're safe-" Mathias gushed, half formed sentences pouring from his mouth in distorted paragraphs, each word emphasised by the slight cracks in his voice. Hesitantly, Emil found himself returning Mathias' embrace, barely managing to give the admittedly much larger man a pat of sorts as Mathias gripped ever tighter, as if scared that Emil would disappear all over again.

Emil found his legs weakening, overwhelmed by this unexpected wave of emotions that sent static blazing like fire in his mind,

"I've- I-I mean we- we've all been so, so worried...Please...Talk to us."

Agonising silence followed and Emil found himself counting each second as it dragged on, mouth glued shut in painful fear,

"...I'm sorry..." He whispered, and Mathias could do all but restrain a few shaky sobs from escaping his mouth as they both slowly sank to the floor.

"Can you...Can you promise me that you won't lock yourself away anymore? Not completely of course, that would be too much but maybe just...if you feel okay to maybe come downstairs...even if it's just for five minutes...Please..."

His words drifted in to nothing, quiet desperation settling in as his breathing began to slow,

"I'll try.." Emil mumbled uncertainly, the swirling in his stomach intensifying as he did, "Could you...let me go now please?" He asked, waiting patiently as Mathias began to reluctantly untangle himself before making his way to the door, uncomfortable with Mathias' eyes watching him.

Silence.

"Emil..!" Emil turns to Mathias, confused, "Lukas and me... We're together now...You know that, right...?"

More silence. It's thick, and static begins to fill the void in Emil's head as his throat dries. His head feels empty - what to say? How to feel? He doesn't know.

He blinks. Once. Twice. He nods. Turns. Leaves. No thought. No thinking allowed. None at all.

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I completely forgot wattpad existed tbh oops gonna post a bunch of chapters all at once