black » harry styles au

chapter four

belle ;

"don't you ever just...get sick of it?" 

i raised my eyebrow at zayn and shook my head quickly, turning my attention back to the oven where my croissants were being baked. we were standing in the back room of the coffee shop, having the same conversation that we discussed almost every day now. 

"every things the same here, belle." the older boy took a look around the small kitchen and sighed. "don't get me wrong, i love quilts and you guys but...don't you ever just miss the excitement?"

"i don't have time for excitement, zayn." 

the oven buzzed quietly, indicating that the pastries inside had finished cooking. i grabbed the faded oven mitt and slipped it on as i had done many times and opened the oven. i breathed in the smell of the fresh dough and took the pan out, placing it carefully on the table where zayn sat, watching me. i took the oven mitt off and closed the out of date oven silently, sitting back down across from my coworker and friend. 

"everyone has time for excitement." he argued calmly.

"not me,"

"yes, you."

"no."

"yes."

"no,"

"yes,"

"zayn,"

"belle,"

he smiled at me, but i didn't feel like returning it this time. though the conversation was light between us, it still troubled me. zayn had a point. everyday for the past few years, my life had been the same daily routine. get up, attend school, watch after my younger sister and help my grandparents at the coffee shop.

sure, it wasn't the most exciting life, but it was nice for awhile.

but times had changed and so did the people around me. school ended, my sister started to grow up on me, and my gramp had passed away. now my life was more stressful. watching after my sister became my full responsibility along with aiding my depressed grandmother.

as sad as it was, i really didn't have time for excitement in my life. i had too many responsibilities to do.

"you could do it, you know." i barely heard zayn, he was looking down at the table; his voice no more than a mumble.

"do what?" i looked away from the tan boy, already knowing his answer.

"go back to school, get a decent education." i could feel his eyes watching me, though i dared not to look at him.

"i can't, you know that just as well as i do, zayn." i sighed.

"yes you could!" he seemed to be getting more and more excited as he developed his plan. "i could watch after georgia and work extra shifts-"

"no. gram and i could never ask you to do that." i shook my head quickly. "it's too much."

"it's not. georgia loves me for pete's sake and i'd much rather be here than at home." he reasoned.

i shook my head again, there was no way i could ever let zayn to do that. if i took my classes back up at the university, it would mean he would have to work double the amount of shifts he does now. along with that, watching after a seven year old isn't the easiest thing to do.

"i really do appreciate it, zee, but now's just not the time for me to be going back. maybe when georgia gets a little older."

"alright, i understand." he gave me a small smile and a little nod, but i could tell he was disappointed with my decision.