ANXIETY ☞ YOONGI

☞ 0.2

dear diary,

today was like any average day at school except for the new kid. he had mint colored hair and earrings. he seemed really popular and immediately became friends with jimin (aka the king of the school).

you know, i hate it how people automatically assume jimin's horrible just because he's popular. sure, he has his faults, but he's actually surprisingly nice.

i haven't talked to him personally, but i listen in on conversations. that's what you do when you have social anxiety.

anyways, back to the new kid.

i learned his name was min yoongi and mr. kim seated him behind me.

i'm not sure why but i got really nervous when we made eye contact.

probably just the social anxiety, though.

during lunch i ate outside in the garden area (where i always go). i love all the flowers and the huge tree. the leaves have just started to fall signaling autumn was here.

to be honest, i love autumn. it means i can wear sweaters but still wear dresses because it's not that cold.

bACK ON TOPIC

as i was eating my chips and drinking my vanilla milk, yoongi came outside with jimin and hoseok following him. i shrugged my shoulders and didn't think much of it.

however, my heart actually stopped beating in complete fear when he plopped down on the grass next to me.

"hi, i'm yoongi," he said, smiling. "what's your name?"

in that moment i was panicking so much and i opened my mouth to speak but nothing came out.

he gave me a concerned look, probably because it looked like i was choking on an invisible dick.

i jumped up and ran away as the panic attack started.

"that's areum, she has social issues," hoseok had said sympathetically as i ran back into the building.

i was completely humiliated. normally i would just go on with my life and be fine because no one would approach me -- they all knew what would happen if they did.

but now this new kid -- yoongi -- talks to me and my world crumbles a bit.

when i caught my breathe in the bathroom as tears spilt down my face, i couldn't help but want to talk to him.

i think i'm going to try tomorrow, even though i'll probably only embarrass myself more. i just wanna apologize.

if social anxiety was a person, i'd throw them down the stairs.

goodnight,
☞ areum