ANXIETY ☞ YOONGI

☞ 0.5

dear diary,

i want to die so fucking bad.

i have no one

my life is full of fear and there's no hope, it seems.

i'm currently sitting up against a tree in a park near my house. i think it's about 2am on monday and oh god, i can't stop crying.

i just want a normal life but i can't because of this stupid fucking mental illness.

what did i do to deserve this?! was i that bad of a person that god decided that i needed to be punished?!

why does everyone else around me have a perfect social life and a lot of friends?! how come those things come easy for them but for me, for me it's fucking impossible??!

it's so painful and i can't breathe --

i was cut off from my writing when i saw a figure walk in to the park, their face hidden by a hood.

i wiped the tears off my face and tried to get a better look at who it was.

before i knew it, they walked out of my line of sight.

it didn't take long for me to start crying again. my heart hurt so much and my eyes stung. in that moment i just wanted to disappear so i wouldn't have to deal with my problems.

"areum?"

i jumped in fear before getting a good look at the person.

it was yoongi, his hood pulled down.

well shit.

"y- yoongi? w- what are you doing here?" i asked as calmly as i could, trying to cover up the fact i was in the middle of a suicidal episode.

his eyebrows furrowed together in concern and he kneeled down next to me.

"are you okay?" he asked in a calming voice. i looked at my knees, trying to speak up and say that i was fine.

instead i burst into another sobbing fit.

yoongi slid next to me and didn't hesitate to wrap his arms around my shaking body.

i reluctantly leaned into his side as i continued to cry.

"i- i just can't do this anymore!" i sobbed, clinging onto him like my life depended on it.

"shh," he soothed, smoothing down my hair. "it's okay, i'm here."

i think that's when i starting falling for him, even though after that night i was too embarrassed and angry to even look him in the eye.