ANXIETY ☞ YOONGI

☞ 0.8

i laid my head on my desk, my yellow hoodie covering my face from anyone's view.

not like they would be looking at all, but still.

yoongi hadn't been to school for a few days so i haven't had the time to apologize for my outburst. it seems like the only time we talk is when i apologize or when he tries to pity me.

maybe us being friends won't be such a good idea after all.

i tilted my head to the side so only the right half of my face was concealed, versus of all of it. jimin was on the other side of the room conversing with hoseok with a concerned look on the both of their faces.

i wonder what's the deal? i questioned to myself, but the thought was forced out as the lunch bell rang. i quickly grabbed all of my things that were strewn under my desk, stuffing them in my backpack before speed walking out of the classroom.

i slowed down as i neared my locker, putting in the combination to open it. i threw my backpack in and grabbed my favorite vanilla milk and my sketchbook, closing the door after, and ran off to my place outside.

i resumed to one of my old sketches of hoseok, trying to shield my notebook away from the basketball court that he was currently prancing around at with jimin. what can i say? he has nice facial features, but if he were to see this my life would be ended by excessive embarrassment. 'crazy stalker' would be added onto my already lovely reputation of 'the girl who never talks'. yeah, i'd rather not have that happen, thank you very much.

something felt off about today, and i soon realized it was the absence of laughter coming from the pair of boys.

did something happen?

i really wanted to ask, but i was basically restrained to do so thanks to my messed up brain chemicals.

since i finished my milk, i crunched up the carton and jogged over to a garbage can a few yards from the basketball court.

as i turned around to walk away, i felt a hand on my shoulder. i turned around to see the hand belonged to jimin and hoseok was standing next to them. they both held solemn looks on their face and i immediately got ten times more anxious than i normally am (which is saying something).

"w- what's wrong..?" i questioned skeptically before turning my body fully to face them.

"didn't yoongi tell you...?" hoseok asked, cocking his head to the side.

"uhh.... no??" i chuckled awkwardly.

"he said you were friends.....?" jimin stated, but it sounded more like a question.

"oh. i- i guess??"

"his older sister tried to kill herself again," jimin frowned sadly. "i just thought he would tell you because it sounds from him that you two are pretty close."

"w- wait... she tried to... kill herself?" i gasped in shock, choosing to ignore the statement about yoongi saying we were close.

"yeah. she's been struggling with social anxiety and stuff and has been in and out of the psychiatric ward since middle school," hoseok chimed in, shifting his weight onto his other leg.

"oh my gosh," i mumbled, mostly to myself. "i- i needa go..!"

with that, i ran inside the school, totally forgetting my sketchbook.

yeah, i'm gonna regret that later.
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hi guys im back after two months sorry about that
my anxietys been horrible lately so i spend my days hiding in my room (plus i procrastinate a lot)
but i rlly love this story and i hope you all do too (although theres no active readers atm, maybe one or two so s/o to you for being groovy)
bye, have a good day!
-lauren