The Dildo King

9

"how the fuck is that possible?!" michael asked in astonishment.

"i don't know. i just woke up this morning and went to take a piss, when i saw that my dick was gone." luke explained.

"this is insane..." calum whispered.

luke began to pull his hair out of frustration, "why did this have to happen to me? i haven't done anything wrong in my life, have i?"

"no, luke, baby. we'll figure this out. i promise you." ashton comforted the giant boy.

"i just want my dick back." a tear slipped down luke's rosy cheek.

•••

"hey guys? i think i might know what happened." calum confronted the other three boys.

"what? what happened then?" ashton asked.

"i used to read a lot of supernatural type stuff. i didn't believe anything, it was just something to do, but now i'm doubting myself." calum explained.

"what do you think did this then?"

"i think it may have been a witch. they usually do something to you as revenge. or sometimes is just out of pure fun."

"but, who'd want to do this to me?" luke asked in confusion.

"do you have any enemies?"

"who the fuck would hate me? bitch i'm luke hemmings."

"exactly." michael retaliated.

"fuck you."

"shut up, luke."

"okay, okay, let's try to all get along here." ashton interrupted the two bickering boys.

"calum, this is ridiculous!" luke shouted in frustration, "there is no such thing as witches!"

"but you never know! who ever heard of someone's dick being turned into a fucking dildo?!" calum shouted back.

"but it doesn't mean that a so called witch did this!"

"fine! if you don't want to take into consideration my suggestions of what could have happened and not judge them, then i guess i'll just leave!"

"fine!" luke yelled. everyone stood in shock.

"you're a fucking dick, oh wait, you don't have one." calum sassed and walked out of the house.

•••

"fuck luke and his dildo." calum muttered while burying a wooden box underground. he was currently at a crossroads, trying to summon a crossroads demon, "i can't believe that i'm still actually trying to help him." calum continued to speak to himself, "i guess that's what happens when you love someone." he sighed.

after burying the box, calum stood up and stepped away. he looked around and waited for something to happen.

"how may i help you?" a male voice spoke from behind him. calum quickly turned around and saw a male a few years older than him with blood red eyes.

"i'd like to make a deal." calum began, "give my friend luke his dick back, in return for, well, my soul."

"meh i've had to deal with worse. okay, i'll give you one year. now we just need to seal the deal with a kiss." the demon explained. calum nodded his head and kissed the demon.

i only have one more year left to live, and it's all because of my friend and his dick/dildo problems, calum thought.

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hullo my kinky motherfuckers. i have finally updated once again. as promised, the story got weirder hehehe.

what has my life come to?