3 meters above heaven (1D story)

Chapter 7

"Z-Zayn I--" Her voice cracked "I have to tell you something."

“You know you can tell me anything” I told her

“I know, b-but...” a tear rolled down her face.

“Shh, don't cry babe.” I caressed her hair trying to calm her down.

“Zayn, I lied”

“What do you mean?”

“Yesterday, when you got home and I was--” she started to cry again, held her close to me, and hugged her tight, trying to make her feel safe and protected, but knowing that I was failing at it.

“Shh, it's ok.”

“no it's not” she said separating from me.

“You don't have to tell me if you don't want to.” I knew she had trust issues, I couldn't force her to tell me something that was making her like this, but I knew that she needed to get it out, she needed someone to help her with it. I kept wondering, trying to figure out what could have her in such state, what kind of secret could hurt that much? What kind of secret?

“But I want to.” I tried to suppress my smile, I was happy because somehow she had learned to trust me in such a short time, but I couldn't help thinking that this was something really bad, something that was eating her alive.

“Zayn, I didn't pass out because of the alcohol” she said avoiding my eyes. “I-- I passed out because I-- I've got cancer.”

My mind was blank, for a minute I wasn't thinking, I couldn't think, I didn't know what was happening, I didn't know what to say, I was blank, simply and purely blank. Then I heard her speak.

“that's the reason why I do what I do. I push everyone away because I'm dying, I don't want them to suffer because of me, I don't want them to cry my loss, I want them to be happy, and they won't be happy if they stick around me. I drink, I smoke, because I don't have anything worth living for, I have nothing Zayn!” she yelled “I had nothing until you came to me, and I got scared, so scared that I wouldn't be able to push you away, I tried, I tried so hard to make you hate me, but you already meant so much to me that I couldn't, and now you're stuck in the middle of this, and I'm sorry, I'm so sorry Zayn.”

I grabbed her chin and made her look into my eyes.

“There's nothing to be sorry about, I love you, and I want to be in this with you till the end, I want you to feel loved, I want to give you a reason to live for.”

I tried my best to smile, to show her that everything was going to be OK, but... how was everything going to be OK when the love of my life, the only girl I've ever loved had just told me that she was not going to be here forever?