7.

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bold - english
italics - flashback

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"What happened!?"

"She... she's... gone" He responded, saying the last part softly, as if he didn't want me to hear it.

"No... no no no no, this can't be happening. No please no." I got up and walked over to the window where I could look through to see my mum. All I saw was her dead body lying there with a cloth covering her whole body. I clasped my hand over my mouth as tears poured down my cheek. I wrapped my arms around me, feeling lonely all of a sudden.

I heard Jae walk towards me and wrap his arms around me to comfort me. I turned around so that my face was resting against his chest. Admist the silence, all you could hearing was me sobbing. Dad left the waiting room to go outside into the garden at the hospital to get fresh air.

After a while, I started to calm down a bit. Tears were still dripping down my cheeks, but you could still hear my unsteady breathing.

"I'm gonna go check on dad, see if he's alright" I said mumbling although I'm sure Jae heard me. Even though I know this would be incredibly hard on my dad. After all he's been close to her majority of his life even before they were together and had to wait practically a decade for me to come. I'm sure dad would be so devastated that he only got to share only 15 years of my life with mum.

"Hey dad." I sit next to him and lean my head on his shoulder.

"Dad, is it bad that I miss her already?"

"Hindi (no), she is your mother after all. I'm just sad that you weren't able to spend more time with her." He says as more tears fall down his cheeks.

"Same, it's just that I wish I could've been a better daughter."

"You didn't have to, you were all we could wish for." He was looking at me as he said, as if he meant it. He wrapped his arms around me to give me a hug, as if to comfort me.

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//time skip//
The funeral was three days ago, and it's taken a toll on everyone. Jae's still here helping out. Although one of the worst thing had to happen, dads become an alchoholic. When Jae was asleep in the guest room, and I was still awake waiting for dad to come home. Dad would come into the house drunk, shouting out the worst things I could imagine. He blamed me for mothers death, he said that if I wasn't born or if I wasn't here in the first place, then maybe mum would still be here. He'd say that I was the worst daughter ever, even if he said I wasn't before. I'd stay quiet, just to let him take it out on me, at least he wouldn't be hurting anyone else, right?

Sometimes Jae would wake up in the middle of it, and walk down stairs. I'd send a look for him stay in the bedroom, so dad wouldn't take it out on him as well.

When Jae had to leave to go back to Korea, he was hesitant. He repeatedly told me that he didn't want to leave me in case dad became violent and abusive. Me being the stubborn me, told him that I can take it.

But I was wrong, dad did become worse. My school friends didn't know, and I intended it to keep it that way. Every night when he came home, he would always abuse me. My self-esteem lowered, although I managed to keep my grades up, to make sure no one would find anything out. At school I pretended that I was fine and put up a barrier. So many bad things happened during this time and because of the abuse, I felt so alone, I didn't tell anyone about this.

So I tried found ways to cope with it, and I did. I developed a love for music, I started writing music as well, even though I wasn't that good, at least I tried. I put every ounce of my feelings into music. Music for me, was a way to convey my feelings without having to even speak.

But eventually one of my closest friends found out, Kat. She realised that I was distancing myself after the death of my mum, that I was getting bruises on my arms, and tried to cover it with make-up and wore long sleeved shirts to cover it in Summer. I stopped inviting my friends over, and going to their places, just in case they found out the abuse that I had to go through.

But when she did find out, she didn't despise me like I thought she would. She helped me. She made sure that I was being myself, that my depression wasn't getting any worse and that it was improving, that my scars would heal. My other friends did find out, and they helped me as well. And by the time highschool was finished, the scars were healed.

We moved into a place together 'so she could keep an eye on me', went to the same school together, and became each others sisters.

Jae and I got back in touch after his debut and were talking again. This brought me to today, I was still weary of dad, but my friends always remembered to keep me smiling. I regained my personality back, although fragments were forever lost, and a hole in my heart still remained that only my mother could fill.

My father got rid of his bad habits, and remarried. They had a child together. I couldn't help but feel replaced, that mum was replaced. Of course I was happy for him, but 1 never turned up at the wedding because he never told them about me. I mean why should he, it's not like I'm going to live with them again, plus he needed a new start in life.

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(Flashback ended)
I don't know what I would've done if Jae wasn't there for me. I would've been so lost on everything to do if he wasn't there to help me take care of things. But there were some things that he shouldn't know of.

Jae wiped the tears that have fallen on my cheek, this always happens whenever the topic is brought up. He knows this too. I was pulled towards him as he wrapped his arms around me to comfort me. He knew that one of the things I hated the most was other people seeing me cry. He pulled me close enough to him so that my face was hidden.

The door opened and I heard footsteps coming towards me. I realised it was Kat when she started rubbing my back. The only people that I'm alright with seeing me cry, is Kat and Jae. After the incident so many things happened to my friendships and they're the only two that I trust entirely. I just hope that nothing will take that trust away from us.

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This was a short chapter as well....
I'm sorry i havent been updating that much. I've been sick and busy with school.

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