flight log » markson

🌥departure🌥 two

In the middle of the night, Jackson's sheets were suddenly lifted off him as another body slid in next to him, wrapping their arms around his waist. Just from the touch, he immediately knew that it was Mark. His heart felt jumpy and giddy at the fact that someone was so affectionately holding him, touching him like he was something precious.

"Hey, GaGa. I said we'd talk later, remember?" Mark whispered, pulling Jackson closer so there wasn't an inch of space between his stomach and Jackson's back.

"Of course. What did you want to talk about?" Jackson knew full well what Mark wanted to talk about, but he still hoped that Mark would say something else.

"Why don't we ease into the topic?" Mark suggested. When Jackson slightly nodded, he continued, "Then let's start with a confession."

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm sure it's been obvious over the years that we've known each other, but I never take the time to say these words to you and I think it's important that you hear them." Mark took a deep breath, his chest surging with anxiety and excitement. "I love you, Jackson. I don't nearly say this enough. I love you as a best friend, I love you as a lover—I love you so, so much. I don't understand how you can think so lowly of yourself when I can only see you as perfect. And you're not perfect because you're flawless; you're perfect because you're clumsy and make mistakes. You're perfect because you forget what language you're speaking and because you strive towards your goals. You're perfect because you're Jackson Wang. I love you, Jackson."

"How could you ever love someone like me?" Jackson turned to face Mark, his happiness and relief covered up by pure confusion. "It's just plain mean to lie about something like this. I bet BamBam or someone told you about how I felt and you thought it'd be funny to make a joke out of it. This is why I should never tell anyone anything anymore. I should just never open my mouth again."

"This isn't some joke," Mark told him sincerely.

"Just tell me who told you. Was it BamBam? Or Yugyeom? Maybe Jinyoung picked up on it and thought it would be funny to tell you?" Jackson prepared to argue more, but Mark quickly grabbed him by the neck and pulled him in for a kiss.

"You really don't think that I can just love you for who you are? I have no ulterior motives." Mark pulled him in for another kiss, immediately pulling away when he felt Jackson's tears hit his cheek.

"It doesn't make sense. Besides the fact that you're way out of my league, you always acted so annoyed with me. Ever since we first met, you hated having to deal with me. You absolutely despised sharing a room with me—how am I supposed to believe you?"

"I never hated you," Mark promised. "I know I've been kinda harsh on you in the past, but it was never serious. And the only reason I didn't want to room with you anymore was because it got hard having to see you everyday, knowing that I may never have my feelings returned."

"But why me? Of all people, how could you love me?" Jackson couldn't look Mark in the eye, so Mark forced Jackson to look at him by grabbing his chin.

"There are so many reasons. It'll take more than just one day to list them all." When Mark saw Jackson's skeptical glance, his grip softened. "Just trust me, Jackson. I'll find a way to prove that I'm being genuine, I promise."

"We'll see what happens, I guess. For now, just... please don't leave. I don't want to be alone." Jackson wrapped his arms around Mark's neck and pulled himself closer.

"I won't leave, but can you tell me something before you sleep?" Mark's hands found his way to Jackson's hips and let his arms wrap around his waist. "What's been up lately? I've been worried with how you've changed."

"How have I changed?" Jackson asked, genuinely unsure of what Mark meant.

"You seem more scared and doubtful of yourself. I know you've never exactly been the cocky person you play yourself out to be, but it's worrying how much worse it's gotten."

Jackson took a deep breath, letting his thoughts collect. As much as he didn't want to admit his problems, Mark would always be able to pry anything out of him. "I've been lonely, I guess. I have a lot of time to think now."

"What are you talking about? You're constantly working—you probably have the least free time out of all of us." Mark frowned, not understanding what Jackson meant.

"I spend so much time away from you guys. I know I'm constantly surrounded by people, but none of them see me as a person. I'm just another obnoxious idol that they have to put makeup on, or maybe I'm a stuck up snob they have to MC with. I'm sure they'd much rather have you or Jinyoung do Go Fridge or anything else I've been on, but I speak Chinese best in GOT7— and that's only because I'm being compared to five people who aren't fluent and you who grew up speaking mostly English." Jackson spoke in an oddly calm and indifferent tone, effectively making Mark slightly uncomfortable and even more concerned.

"You worked hard to earn your place in all those shows," Mark began slowly. "You're not only just another member of GOT7; you're also your own person who is amazing and entertaining and just happens to be part of GOT7. You were on that show because you're you, not because of anything else. Besides, you wouldn't be doing your own solo album if you were only famous because of GOT7."

"It's hard to explain." Jackson let out a small yawn, his mind momentarily going blank as exhaustion washed over his consciousness. "What were we talking about?"

"Why don't we just go to sleep, okay?" Mark smiled as he watched Jackson nod and nuzzle his head into Mark's neck. "We can always talk later."

"Thank you for staying," Jackson mumbled, his voice indicating that he was already half asleep."

"I'll always be here for you, Jackson."