today, my manager talked to me and forced me to read my hate comments. he told me i'll not do better if i'll live my life shamelessly, not caring about everyone else's opinion about me. he doesn't know that i severely care about everyone else's words. i take them in like food and air. i take them in like poison and drugs.
i tried to stop my tears from escaping my eyes when i read the words "bitch" "attention seeker" "talentless" and "die" but my manager told me i am too weak to cry over words like that. he doesn't know that i can never tolerate them. i have depression and any moment now, after i leave this room, i could be everywhere with the hopes of disappearing with the hate being thrown to me.
i locked up myself inside the bathroom, shoved three fingers to my throat and vomited. i vomited my sadness out. i grabbed the nearest sharp object and started cutting my hair. as i saw the mess that i made like the vibrant dyed hairstrands on the floor, i realized that even if i vomit and cut a part of me, i'll still stay the same.
there is no way out.
i need to die.
ESTÁ A LER
confessions of kpop idols °
Outros géneros"i'm just dancing to our choreography. i'm not a slut. stop calling me that. it hurts my mom." here lies all the confessions of a kpop idol, famous or not, a rookie or a star, a namja or a yeoja. ©lonelywhale- 2016
