Lost And Found

Chapter Fifteen

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

It had only been three hours since Sam and Selasi left. She had wished her friend good luck and prayed in her heart that everything went on well. Denise was preparing lunch for herself and her plus one when her phone began to ring, she rushed to it and answered immediately upon seeing the name of the caller...Sam.
"Hey...." She said cheerily but in a matter of seconds her smile disappeared.
"Deni you need to get here......"
"What happened Sam?"
"Things didn't exactly go the way we thought it would and....."Denise could hear Selasi screaming on top of her voice through the phone.
"Just come over okay, I need you now" He said so calmly it broke her heart.
"On my way" Denise immediately picked the keys totally forgetting she was still in her pajamas. She only realized it when she was at the Graham's front door.
She pressed the bell and Sam opened it seconds later.
"Whats going on?" She walked in but Sam said nothing, he looked like he had been in tears. He sniffed as he led her in.
And there was his father sitting at the dining table speechless..his lips were moving but he said nothing, his wife and daughter were screaming at each other.
"......that's your problem Eme, you have only cared about yourself since you were a kid.....its has always been about you but girl you have got to understand you cant always have things your way"
"I always have mom, I always have......look I'm sick and tired of you people blaming me for what happened to your beloved daughter Gracie okay, if any of you had cared just a little, maybe Gracie would not have been raped and she would not have to ran away from home and she definitely wouldn't be a junkie who ended up taking her own life....you just don't want to admit she was wrong....she was weak......y'all are looking for someone to blame and of course I had always been the misfit the wild one so you blame it on me, if you want anyone to blame, blame Gracie, she was selfish, not me and she definitely didn't care about any of your feelings" At that Mrs. Graham hit her hard on the face...the sound of the slap echoed and Sam stepped forward, he held his mother from behind.
"Mom stop!"
She snatched her hand from his grip and raised a finger in front of Selasi's face.
"Don't you ever talk about your sister like that, not ever" Mrs. Graham was so angry and in tears, they all were. Deni was frozen, she could not move.
"I hate you mom, more than you could ever imagine I wish you died not her" Selasi said and grabbed her bag then walked out, not even acknowledging her friends presence. Deni ran after her calling.
"Selasi wait!" Selasi just kept walking. Deni caught up to her and grabbed her arm.
"Selasi, stop......" Selasi began to breath so heavily Deni just pulled her into her arms and hugged her.
"It hurts Deni, it does, so much I feel this sharp pain in my chest and its been there ever since Gracie died......and they keep blaming me.......i loved Gracie, she was my baby sister....I did everything I could to help her when they drove her out and froze her accounts, I was the one who rushed to her aid, not mom or dad, me.......i was the only one she confided in, I knew what she was going through.....and now.....now they make it seem like I killed her like I slit her wrists"
"Baby, no one blames you......you only feel so much pain because you blame yourself and you need to let it go...."
"How do I Deni, huh, tell me?, those people in there...they don't care about me......they only pretend to"
"Don't say that, they are your family and they do love you"
"No they don't....
yes they do, now we are going to go back in there to end this.....today......come on"
"Its pointless..."
"Just trust me Selasi, if you don't sort this out, this right here would tear your family apart.....i don't care who is at fault but this blame game needs to stop......cant you see what you are doing to your brother, do you want to drive him crazy too?'
"No I love Sam, I wouldn't hurt him"
"You are hurting him, if you really love Sam, you need to act like a big sister, the matured woman I know and love, the woman I have looked up to as a big sister, the same selfless woman........i care about......you are angry and the devil is fanning those flames, girl you need to put it out, stop giving him a reason to destroy your home, Gracie wont want that, come on, lets go" Deni pulled her back in. Sam was sitting beside his mom on the couch, Mr Graham still sat where he had been.
"With all due respect allow me to speak what is tugging at my heart. I came to know you all and before I knew about Gracie, I found you all to be amazing, I have looked up to you and respected you not for what you are but what I see in you. Your family is a beautiful one and whatever is going on in here is wrong. Blaming each other won't bring Gracie back, it would only push her further into the ground than she already is.....you all need to let go and heal yourselves before this wound gets bad than it already is and eats you up till you all are a faded memory. You should know better as people of God.....and is this what the bible teaches....to bark and hit at each other.....excuse me but I think you are just being hypocrites who preach virtues and do the exact opposite.......love your neighbour....you said Mr Graham......that was what you preached the first day i walked into your church.......love them despite the wrongs they do, love them anyway....your own words...I don't see that love and she is not even a neighbour, she is the closest thing to you, much closer than the man next door, and if you cant forgive and let go I'm going to stop coming to church and you would have to answer to God why you were a bad example and in the end threw me out by your words and actions and you Mrs. Graham....Colossians 4:6 is what you talked about yesterday....... "lets fill ourselves with words of thankfulness, not complaint, words of tolerance, not judgement, words of kindness not bitterness, words of love not hate, words of encouragement not discouragement, words of blessing and not curses", your own words but I don't see that......I don't see you acting out what you advised us on....so well why should i?......you have allowed the devil into your home and you do not even realize it......and he is attacking your heart, the same heart you failed to protect as Proverbs 4:23 instructed you to...." She realized tears were streaming down her face.
"......Selasi isn't selfish, you all are, even if she is you pushed her to act on it......you all are selfish in the sense that you care only about extracting yourself from the blame you deserve, if you are looking for someone to blame, blame yourselves, each and everyone of you...... mrs Graham you slit your daughters wrist when you ignored her needs and practically drove her out......and you sir, you slit her wrist too when you were more concerned about cutting her from getting drugs instead of trying to find out why she so desperately needed them......you failed as a mother, and you failed as a father......so don't point fingers at her alone......so unless you are willing to destroy each other with this negativity which is choking....its literally choking me right now....think about all the people at Church who need you and your testimony to overcome, please let it go, let not the sun go down on your anger......kill that flame today and until you do that.....no one leaves this house, I'm sorry, but if I have to lock you in for a year with Selasi, I would till you fix this" Deni said and wiped her tears.
"She's right" Sam stood and said.
"I am sick and tired of all this, I'm done.....i am done living with all this pain and anger and hate and self blame, Gracie is gone and we cant allow her to take us with her.......she's gone just let her rest in peace.......we all failed her, Deni is right so before we are so quick to point fingers we should think about all the ways we failed her individually..we cant drive Selasi out, the way I see it she is the only one who even deserves praises here because she stayed with Gracie right to the end......without her help I would not even know her apartment...and we probably would have found her decayed a week later so we should thank God for all that has happened and forgive each other.......Selasi....." He turned to his sister.
"......I just want you to know that I love you and I will never blame you for Gracie's death, I never did and I never would.....i have always looked up to you and it really hurt when you left me all alone to deal with this loss......you leaving me, that was wrong....so wrong and unfair because you had a duty to me as my big sister, but I had to grow up, I had to force myself to grow up and take over your duties in this family......I don't want to do that again, go through that pain again, I don't care what mom and dad think, I need you, I really do" Tears streamed down his face and Selasi's too. She stood and hugged him.
"I'm so sorry Keith, I am....so so so sorry" She cried.
Deni couldn't hold it in anymore, she too began to cry, wiping her tears as they dropped....
"I'm sorry for hitting you...and for failing to be a mom....and for years I tried to tell myself I did my best and I tried to see all the wrongs in you to give me a reason to shift blame to you, my own daughter, I was a coward and selfish and very unworthy to be your mom....I......." Her voice broke and she wiped her tears.
"I am sorry Eme.....and to you Sam....and you too....." She said to her husband.
Selasi walked to her mother, sat beside her and spread her arms around her.
"I'm sorry too mom, and I don't hate you, I didn't mean that"
"I'm sorry too, to all of you for not doing my job as a father and a husband, I have faltered and I do not deserve this family and Selasi I have always missed your absence for me when you left it left a vacuum in my heart and I tried to heal by pretending you were gone too.....that was wrong" Mr. Graham stood and joined his family in the living room. His wife stood and hugged him and soon everyone was hugging everyone as they laughed and cried together. Deni smiled, wiping her tears.
"Deni, you are a miracle, all along we thought we were helping you heal, but you were God sent to us to heal us....." Mr. Graham walked to her.
"Yeah, she was quoting scripture and all, I almost went like wait a minute where is Deni?" Selasi said and they all laughed.
"God bless you for those provoking words" He hugged her.
Selasi did too.
"Thank you love" Selasi hugged her friend so tightly.
"A pleasure"
Mrs Graham smiled at her......
"Thank you...and I promise you that this is over....and I love you all..." She turned to her kids and hugged them both.
"I'm glad I cleared the air, thank God for new beginnings" Deni said. Sam walked to her and hugged her so tight.
"You're my miracle" He whispered and wouldn't let go.
"You are mine too" He broke the hug and smiled at her, wiping her tears with his finger.
He hugged her again and everyone said;
"Aww" In an hour they had had lunch talking and laughing like there ha not been a war hours earlier and it was at the dinner table that they realized she was in her pajamas.
"We should go out sometime, Deni and I had a picnic and it was fun, we should go out on a picnic too"
"Great idea" Deni said.
"Yeah, it's an awesome idea" Selasi seconded.
"Tomorrow would be great" Mrs. Graham said.
"Cant wait...."
"I know why you're saying that Deni"
"Why?"
"The food, she's been eating like mad since she found out she was pregnant"
"Deni is pregnant?"
It was Crystal who had appeared out of no where and startled everyone.
"Crystal...?"
"Umm, I'm sorry but the door was open" She explained.
"What are you doing here?" Sam asked.
"I umm, came to see you"
Sam stood but Crystal couldn't take her eyes off Deni.
"What about?, if its not urgent, now isnt a good time"
"Umm, its not....sorry I could come back another time" She turned to walk away. Sam followed her.
"Did I hear right?....Deni is pregnant?"
"Its not what you think"
"Oh my God, what is it then......its not yours is it?"
"No"
"I knew she wasn't what she seemed"
"Hey you cant judge her....."
"Why do you kept tagging along then, are you in love with her?"
Sam was quiet.
"Oh my God you're in love with her......this is insane"
"How is it insane?"
"I'm out of here" Crystal walked out and Sam didn't try to stop her.