#1 of THE E L I T E Series
"No one ever said being apart of a powerful group of rich people was easy,"
*Warning, this is triggering and does include self harm, read at your own risk*
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I've made a decision. I won't feel anymore. I won't feel anymore pain, nor will I feel any anger. I will feel nothing. And no, I'm not attempting suicide... yet. But I'm helping myself by going back to the root of the problem. The reason why I even think about attempting suicide. My feelings and emotions. Without them, I will no longer feel pain, or sorrow, because in my body, it doesn't exist. It won't just help with my depression but with guilt.
I won't feel guilty for what I did to Pheobe Thomas.
*** I climbed out of bed the next morning after my amazing solution to all my problems and immediately stubbed my toe. I winced and suppressed a curse before advancing towards my bathroom. That didn't hurt. Because I feel nothing- ok I'm going about it wrong, that shit fucking hurt.
But emotionally... I feel nothing.
After performing my morning routine, I fed Coco, took her for a quick walk and got dressed for school. I settled on two dutch plaits for school, Cassandra teaching me the ways of mastering the perfect braid. After spraying my hair with hairspray and spraying my body with perfume, I grabbed my handbag, slid into my other favourite heels, my matte black Valentino ones, and headed towards the bathroom to see how I looked in a better light.
"Looking good Katie!" I winked at myself, rolling my eyes at my stupidness. I sighed and thought about last night and decided to record it into my diary. "What. The. Fuck," I cursed as I slammed the cabinet door and rushed down the stairs.
"Where's my pink case?!"
"Miss Katie no-"
"I just want to write in my diary, I'm not going to do anything," I rolled my eyes, advancing towards the kitchen and finding both my parents eating their breakfast. "Pink case?"
They both shrugged, "I haven't seen it," my mum replied, taking a bite out of a piece of toast.
"Me neither, has anyone other than the people in this house been in your room?" my dad frowned, dropping his cutlery and taking a sip from his 'World's Best Dad' mug.
Harry.
"Katie maybe it's best you don't go to school today eh?" my dad kindly suggested. I shook my head and smiled, despite yesterday's events, I was fine.
"It's ok dad. I'm fine,"
*** "HARRY COLLINS I SWEAR TO GOD IM GOING TO KILL-"
"Nice to see you too Katie," he smirked, leading the way to our art lesson.
"Give it to me. Now," I gave him the dirtiest look I could possibly muster and he stopped walking.
