Unsent Letters of A Closeted Lesbian Writer

Chapter 10:"What do you want to be when you grow up?"

Written By: Hectic_Writer

What do you want to be when you grow up?

A question that my mom would always ask

And until now, I have no answer

I'm still figuring the girl without the mask

They want me to be an engineer

My mother wants me to have the perfect life

I understand, all parents want that for their children

But the pressure is just a stabbing knife

I really don't know what I want to be

To be honest, I couldn't care less

Because I don't mind if I'll be homeless

I just really want to be happy

I want to marry the person I really love

I want to be free from the weight on my shoulders

I want to be able to express who I really am

Is that good enough for an answer?

I'm sorry if I still can't figure what I want

I'm just so scared of the unknown future

But trust me, I'll figure things out

Everything will be much clearer

A/N:

This is for my mother. Heck, this is for my whole family. Everyone expects me to be this successful woman when I grow up. Everyone's expectations are weighing me down. The pressure is too much. I can barely breathe in my own home. It's just... everything is going too fast that I want to tell everyone to shut the fuck up and please listen to me for one freaking second. I don't want to be an engineer, okay? I want to be a psychologist. But no, my parents don't get that. I just hate how everyone is so sure of their future while I'm barely finishing a thought about it.

I decided to put this one since what I become in the future greatly affects my coming out process. You see, I don't know about you guys, but I decided to come out after I get a good job that I can be proud of. So that even if my parents would throw me out, I can sustain my needs using my own money. I'm just sooo scared. I ready myself to all worst outcomes that might happen to me when I come out.