Chapter 23 - Hostage

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He stopped midway through because I was a crying, sobbing mess. "Why the hell are you doing this to yourself?" He asked looking down at me as I hid my face. "Why are you still here? What is it that you so badly have to do here that you're willing to go through this?" He referred to my payment towards him.

I wanted to yell back. I wanted to ask why my only payment had to be giving him sex. I wanted to know if it was because Jennifer sucked at it. I wanted to know why he was letting me stay despite the fact that he thinks I hurt him, despite the fact that he doesn't know my reason to stay here and despite the fact that I could be planning something. I wanted to know why he cared if he hurt me and stopped rather than take my full payment. I wanted to know if some part of him, deep down, still loved me.

"Is someone forcing you to do this?" He asked, his voice still rough and angry, but with an underlying gentleness to it.

I shook my head no as I hid my face in the pillow. I wanted to go home. This was pointless, he wasn't ever going to find out. No matter what I did, he wouldn't get my letter and I couldn't live like this. Wanting him, loving him, and slowly dying away as I realize that he won't ever be mine again, that he won't ever know the truth, that he'll always hate me.

"Then why are you still here?" He asked and I shook my head again, not wanting him to ask cause I couldn't answer.

"Why can't you speak anymore?" He asked and I shrugged my shoulders, then I mouthed, "Maybe Tyler." He understood that immediately as his eyes burned with anger, but not anger towards Tyler, anger towards me.

"You deserve it." He spoke in a low voice before he left the room, slamming it shut tight.

I felt anger and frustration surge through me at Dimitri. I was beyond angry that he couldn't even try to give me a chance. It almost felt like he had never loved or cared about me.

I understood he was hurt from what he thought I did. It was all Tyler's fault he thought I was a cheater but couldn't he at least confront me about it instead of causing me this constant pain over and over.

He understood me perfectly when I mentioned Tyler yet he still didn't bother asking me what exactly happened. He truly didn't care anymore and that hurt more than anything in the world. It completely broke me.

I had decided then that I wasn't going to stay here anymore. I didn't want to give up on Dimitri but he gave me no choice. I couldn't let him continue to degrade me like this everyday. It was clear he held pure hatred for me and that he'd never give me the chance to explain.
I had had enough.

I collapsed onto the bed as I cried in anger and sadness. I hated Dimitri for everything he did to me, yet a huge part of me still loved and yearned for him, for a man that didn't exist anymore. The compassionate, loving Dimitri was gone and I'd never get him back ever again. Eventually I had cried myself into exhaustion and fell asleep.

*****

In the middle of the night, I heard a loud commotion causing me to wake up. I heard someone in my room and I pulled the blanket off of me to see who it was but I couldn't.

Someone grabbed me from behind, putting a blindfold over my eyes and clamped their large hand over my mouth so I couldn't scream for help. I struggled and struggled but they tied me with a rope so tight I could feel it digging into my skin, causing me pain over the bruises Dimitri had already caused me.

Suddenly they put another cloth over my mouth and I soon passed out.

******
"Shhhh you're safe Izzie." Dimitri's soft and gentle voice comforted me as he held me close to him. "You're always safe with me. I won't let anything hurt you."

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